Seeking advice on next steps
My introduction to nudism, some 20 plus years ago, was entirely accidental. My wife and I were on holiday in Crete. We are keen walkers and had chosen a hotel next to the tallest mountain on the island in order to climb it. Looking at the map, rather than retrace our route from the top on the way back we decided to make it a circular walk, dropping down the far side of the mountain to the coast, and then following the coast around until we could turn back inland to the hotel. It was a summer day, and we were hot and tired and looking forward to a paddle in the sea when we hit the coast. That's when we discovered it was actually a nude beach....
Well we weren't going to retrace our steps, didn't fancy the alternative route along a busy road, and the sea looked REALLY inviting. As it happened, we had arrived at a quiet rocky outcrop at one end of the beach where it wasn't too busy. Thus followed a little "I will if you will", and having reached tacit agreement we stripped off and rushed into the sea.
At first I was incredibly self-conscious and was glad of the water to hide my embarrassment. That soon passed though, and instead I began to feel aroused; so once again I was glad of the sea but now for a different reason....
However that, too, soon passed and after 20 minutes when we emerged from the sea our nudity felt utterly mundane and normal. So, we picked up our gear and strolled down the beach to the far end where we dressed and picked our route up back to the hotel.
What I remember most about that beach walk was how incredibly comfortable it was - no clothes pinching, chaffing or accumulating sweat patches, just the sun and breeze on my skin. It felt great. Since then, as soon as the weather permits, I spend much of my time around the house and garden as is practical naked. However I have never repeated the public experience, and I always have some clothes nearby on standby in case I hear someone coming up the drive. So I guess I am very much a closet nudist, and it's this I would like to address.
There are beaches in reach of here, but I am not really a beach person. I can't just sit around and do nothing, I prefer to be walking, skiing or engaging in other activities. I am also wary of my initial reaction as described above. The thing about walking down a beach is that you can pick your route and maximise your distance from other users, so I have never had to engage with anyone while naked. I am nervous that my embarrassment/arousal cycle would trigger and that I would inadvertently upset or offend someone. I am sure that it would pass quickly enough but would rather go through this cycle with someone tolerant who understood the concerns.
Any thoughts on a way forward would be welcome.
Twenty years you've thought about this and not followed through! I'm sad for the lost time you could have been enjoying more of what sounds like was a wonderful first experience. But that is now over -- it is time for you and your wife to suck it up and get back out in the sun and fun without clothes on.
Your worry about erections is a very common issue, for new nudists, but most guys do not end up staying that way for very long. Once the initial thrill of bareness begins to sink in, like what happened to you out in the ocean at Crete, it does dissipate, the body normalizes and everything is good. For you, the way to go until you get over it, is to have a big towel that you can drape over your shoulder and let rest across your front, just in case it takes a little longer to be 'shorter', so-to-speak, or in case you do run into other nudists who make you feel good. The longer you are in the nude, and the more other nudists are in your view, the less these things will bother you, along with you learning respect for where your eyes and mind are (or travel to) at any given time. Words of advice ~the eyes can look but don't linger for more than a long moment; the seasoned nudist's brain is trained to appreciate the gift it has been given (nudists share themselves without a word being spoken) without making it into an open invitation to intimacy. There is a moment of normalizing you will soon (hopefully) reach and suddenly you'll realize the titillation of simple, social nudity does not affect you like it did before.
You should know that not everyone is going to end up being a social nudist; a small percentage of folks cannot stop their brains from making it into something it isn't, with bareness for them always becoming sexual . It is not, and those people should stick to the clothed beaches.
Twenty years ago, with you in your thirties, you might've had a slightly higher libido than in your fifties, but you're not dead, so gauge where you are in that regard before you grab your towels and suntan lotion and picnic ~ there is no reason why you should not make love to your wife before your beach adventure without bathing suits on! Releasing that tension before the trip starts makes the whole experience more relaxing.
As for your inability to just sit and enjoy the beach, always wanting action instead of the pure joy of simply letting the body absorb the moment and allowing the mind to empty -- you are missing out on a lot of fine mental health, with the mindfulness you are otherwise avoiding being encouraged to blossom by the sun and wind and sounds and smells, even the feel of sand against your whole, bared self. You would do well to embrace the feelings I speak of, but if you must, bring a book, or a frisbee, or a boogie board, build a sand castle for God's sake!
Twenty years of excuses while you have missed a third of your life which could have enhanced by nakedness. Don't let another summer go by!
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