Hey, folksI'm going to try posting this topic again. The last time someone brought this up, they got blasted for five pages of comments for trying to make this into a dating site. THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST!I'm trying to bring up an honest discussion. I'm NOT looking to hook up, here. So, on to the discussion.My wife and I are NOT swingers. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...). But, we do have an "open marriage" or, more precisely, we are "nonmonogamous." What this means is that we are free to date or sleep with other people with in the bounds of our marriage, and established rules. Our rules? Well, we don't really have any. Just the basic idea of "don't be an idiot" and "don't screw up our marriage." That's about it.For the record, this was her idea.What this has lead to is that, very occasionally, one or both of us will date other people. Maybe a couple of times a year. Sometimes this includes sex but mostly not. For awhile, we were fortunate enough to have another couple in our lives, and we could go out on double dates and sleep over. But that other couple has moved from town. Damn.Anyway, with two kids, two careers and a start-up company, we don't really have time for anyone else in our lives. At least not full time. However, occasionally I'll have a chance to go do something that my wife doesn't enjoy (costume parties, country dancing, tantra workshops, etc.). Rather than not go (and possibly resent it) I can go with a friend without having to worry that something might develop about which I might have to feel guilty. Or, that my wife will be jealous. This has been particularly worthwhile with my naked adventures. My wife doesn't mind me being naked, and will get naked herself. But, it's just not a priority for her like it is for me. Since we could sleep around if we wanted to, when I find someone who likes to hang out naked my wife isn't all stressed out that I might be cheating on her. I might me. But it's not cheating. And she's not stressed out about it. (Generally, of course, I'm not....but it can be fun to think and talk about at times.)Does anyone else out there have a relationship that's anywhere like mine? Are such relationships becoming more common? Are people more open about them? I've seen a lot of press, lately, and even two t.v. shows about nonmonogamous couples. With the increase in press I figure that open marriages are becoming part of the zeitgest. Is there any reason to think that naturist couples are more likely, or less likely, to have such marriages?Please, discuss.......
There is lots of relationships like yours out there despite what the PC police here insist. Even 2012 Republican contender and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich wanted an open marriage (his wife refused and deviorced him).
CherriDonna,
Thanks for a legitimate question.
We wrote our own vows. They did not include being faithful, or any thing about obedience or "honor and obey." We've held true to our vows. Have been married 11 years. Together for 14. Hasn't always been easy, but what problems we have had haven't been caused but infidelity, dishonesty, or disrespect.
I've known lots of folks who's marriages have ended in divorce. I don't know any of them to have been swingers--though I do know that there were several who ended marriages after affairs.
As to what our kids say? They see us with our arms around friends all the time. They believe it's important to show affection to people who are important to them. They have no idea who we might or might not be dating. HOWEVER, when that time comes we will discuss it openly and honestly.
When the Tiger Woods affairs became public, they wondered what was up with him. Our explanation "People have different promises and agreements with their partners in relationships. Whatever Tiger promised his wife he broke that promise."
As to those folks who suggest I NOT discuss topics that don't match with the standards of a majority of posters on this site, well that appeal falls on deaf ears. I could say something high falutin and erudite about freedom of speech, tyranny of the majority, speaking truth to power, you know, edumacated stuff.
Instead, I'll settle for
"PPPPHHHHHTTTTTTT!!!"
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