RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

A lot of good posts. The only thing I might recommend, even though it may sound cliche', is to try couples therapy. In my early days of marriage, I was very much the only nudist. My wife found the idea of being socially nude...almost insane. We had a couple of free therapy sessions. With the therapist/pastor, we started talking about our personal needs, whether the other person was accomodating/respectful of them; and I seized the moment and brought up nudism. My wife just turned red in the face. But then we started talking about it. And my wife started really opening up about how she felt about the whole thing. That was really helpful for her in terms of confronting her body acceptance issues, and making a commitment to try to overcome them. It worked.

  • At least for a while. We're divorced now; as our differences were too great - greater than nudism. Still, I would give it therapy a shot. If it doesn't work, or is not even considered; the question becomes "are our differences irreconciliable?"

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

Excellent input! I so appreciate. Thank you. I will reread all when I have more time. In the meantime I am praying for wisdom, strength, and direction. Of course there is so much more to my story and I must consider all. We have been in and out of therapy. Since being separated I have enjoyed my naturist lifestylepublicly, freely, and with out any guilt. I believe in the bonds of marriage, respecting your husband, and love that is stated in 1st Cor 13:4-8 and will always love, respect and care for my husband regardless of what happens. I hope that we can work it out but I will not bestifledanymore as I know my God desires me to be the ME that He created me to be.

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

... I was married for 28 years, 6 months, 3 children, ready to retire, and my ex-wife become more and more controlling.A controlling woman? Surely you jest, sir.

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

Excellent input! I so appreciate. Thank you. I will reread all when I have more time. In the meantime I am praying for wisdom, strength, and direction. Of course there is so much more to my story and I must consider all. We have been in and out of therapy. Since being separated I have enjoyed my naturist lifestylepublicly, freely, and with out any guilt. I believe in the bonds of marriage, respecting your husband, and love that is stated in 1st Cor 13:4-8 and will always love, respect and care for my husband regardless of what happens. I hope that we can work it out but I will not bestifledanymore as I know my God desires me to be the ME that He created me to be.Thank god I'm an Atheist.

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

William Shakespeare put forward a great piece of advice several centuries ago and you would do well to consider what he had to say. The one memorable line I am referring to is "To thine own self be true."
You are asking a bunch of nudists about your problem that happens to touch upon nudism. My question to you is; is that really your problem? You said that you have separated several times for other reasons. Iassume that none of them were about nudism.
I don't want totell you what you should do because only you can make that final decision. The basic question that you should be asking yourself is; would I be better off with out him or with him? If he physically beat you, what would you do? Is mentally beating you and smothering you any less harmful? Do I want the rest of my life to be the same as the last 18 years?
Before you make that final step I would recommend that you go to marital counseling together. If he refuses because in his mind, there is no problem, then you must make the decision on your own. When and if you do, remember our friend Will Shakespeare and to thy own self be true.
Good luck and our prayers are with you,
DesertRat and Wife

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

Excellent input! I so appreciate. Thank you. I will reread all when I have more time. In the meantime I am praying for wisdom, strength, and direction. Of course there is so much more to my story and I must consider all. We have been in and out of therapy. Since being separated I have enjoyed my naturist lifestylepublicly, freely, and with out any guilt. I believe in the bonds of marriage, respecting your husband, and love that is stated in 1st Cor 13:4-8 and will always love, respect and care for my husband regardless of what happens. I hope that we can work it out but I will not bestifledanymore as I know my God desires me to be the ME that He created me to be.Thank god I'm an Atheist.
Yes, you're right. I've found it's much harder to be a follower of Christ than it is to not...

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

I don't see that black or white and disagree but thank you for you input.When two diametrically opposed viewpoints cannot reach a compromise, the only choices are for one person to capitulate or remove themselves from the situation, ie leave their spouse. The only other choice you would have is to indulge in your nudist activities secretly then lie about it to your husband, and I really don't think any responsible person would encourage that.
Your are wrong about me. I will continue to be me, openly, honestly. My husband will have to choose if this is acceptable to him, not the other way around.

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

... I was married for 28 years, 6 months, 3 children, ready to retire, and my ex-wife become more and more controlling.A controlling woman? Surely you jest, sir.
Yeah, it goes both ways... In my case it's been a controlling man.
I sincerely appreciate all the helpful and encouraging posts. I spent some time with my husband reading your posts and actually had somefruitfulconversation. True we have other issues we need to address as I said in the beginning and many of you reiterated. This is the tip of the iceberg. I am actively working (tirelessly at times) at addressing other issues. I have days when I'm done and days when I want us to work as does my husband. I NEVER IMAGINED HOW HARD MARRIAGE WOULD BE... DANG! But I know a good marriage takes much work,compromise, communication, honesty, respect, love that is unconditional, patient, kind, not proud or arrogant... anyway, I could go on and on but I don't have the time. Just wanted you all to know how much your time in responding means to me, those of you that truly care, I feel you and those of you that will actually pray, I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH!

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

How important is it for you to be who you are ?
In my opinion respect for the other is to him and from him.
But it looks complicated when he thinks he is the only man who sees your naked. But why? Naturism has nothing to
do with showing your body. There is so much respect on the beach or other place for the person who he / she is, not who he or she looks like.
Maybe explain what naturism really means for you, why you feel so comfortable with it and where he is afraid for
Good luck !, sometimes its hard to explain and convince that you do it because you feel comfortable with it and for you not an issue

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RE: This free wheeling, wild child, wife, needs advice!

Be who you are. If he truly loves you he will accept you as you are. We may not always agree with some things our loved onesdo but love them for who they are. Anything else is not love but possession. Be who you are and let him decide do I lover her enough to accept her as she is?

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