Sexual discrimination
It is sad to see that single men are being discriminated against here also. I have not been to a resort because so many don't allow single men. It is a shame that some bad apples spoil it for the rest of us.
I have come across a lot of profiles that stated women or couples only. I don't ask them to be friends because if that is they way they feel, I wouldn't want them as friends anyway even if they list activities we have common interest in.
The thing that prompted me to write this is that I sent a friend request to someone I had chatted with in the chat room. They didn't have anything in their profile stating no single men. I got a response a few days later saying they didn't add single males.
TX,
Keep in mind that there are a lot of people on here that are really on here to seek others for sex. Swinger couples tend to request only females or other couples. I, like several other couples, have been inundated with friend requests by a penis. At least that is the only picture they have. I also have had a few females, whom, I would only ever be able to identify them by their crotches, send friend requests. I reject them all unilaterally.
Think of it this way TX. It's one less person to be annoyed by on your friends list and it makes the quality of the rest of your friends rise a little. I personally think that 90 percent of the people ar nothing more than acquaintences and I would love to have a means by which a friend request puts them on your list as acquaintences and only after you make a change to thier link will they then become friends.
I know that a lot of people on here will actually meet up, like I have done with Tbares and Naturist_2. I am actually hoping to meet up with you and a few others sometime. I think that there is a big difference between those that have a profile pic on your profile page and those that you actually sat and talked with, or got in the hot tub with, etc. Ah, it's all acedemic. I might just wait a few more months and after meeting up with a bunch of other people, just kick all of my friends off cept those I met and those that I talk to regularly. I think I talk to you fairly regularly.
I am happy to be your friend. It's their loss...
Thanks
Jerry
I feel your pain, mate. Like you, I do not seek to ask people to be friends who say couples or females only. Not just because I don't want to seek a friendship with someone who doesn't want me, but also because I don't want to be friends with someone that narrow minded. I understand full well what women can go through online and how they get harrassed by them, hell even I've experienced it with men. lol...Face it, as a general rule men can be pigs.
Saying that though, I think it's wrong to paint everybody with the same brush, regardless if it's sex, race, whatever, you must take each person as an individual and at face value. Not only is it morally wrong, it's a stupid thing to do as you could be eliminating someone special from your life and wouldn't even know it (whether it be for friendship or more). This person you've elminated could change your life for the better, but they are out of the picture because they are a man. Sure you also run the risk of running into a moron or super turd, but really they are pretty easy to spot.
What the real pisser of your situation is, that this person actually chatted with you, got to know you a little bit and still declined you on the basis of your sex. How shallow is that? Mate, you're better off without them.
On a side note, I've seen this problem happen all over the net. Whether it be nudist sites, dating sites, sex sites, whatever, you always run into NO SINGLE MALES. While I understand full well that people are entitled to seek out who they want, it bugs me that there is reallyno outcry over it. If I had a profile that said, no women, no blacks, no chinese, no arabs, there would be a huge outrage. I'd be labled a sexist and a racist. Yet, if people discriminate against a single male, there is nothing, not a peep except from those of us who have been discriminated against. Like, wtf is up with that? Are men not worth peoples outrage when we are being treated unfairly?
The sad thing is, it's not confined to just the internet, it's damn near everywhere in society today. Female only clubs, religous only areas, collegegrants (or whatever they're called, the name escapes me, but paid tuition) for visable minorities and no single men allowed at nudist places, etc, yet you don't see people bandying about with signs screeming for the men to be considered equal. However, if you see a mens club come up or a whites only premesis open, it would be lambasted. People of all shapes and sizes would be up in arms over it and kick our asses back to the stone age.
Hehe...Sorry, I don't mean to get off topic, but this subject bugs the hell out of me. I believe in equal rights for all, including single men.
I feel for you too Tx. Thankfully I haven't run into that sort of thing too often. Well I guess I have actually but I try not to let it get to me too much. Kinda like what Jerry and Swifty said, even though it may sting a bit to be rejected simply because of your sex, in the long run you really have to chalk it up to being their loss and move on. I've tried to be friendly with someone and gotten the dirty looks and the brush off plenty of times for the trouble. Hey, what are ya gonna do?
Hey Swifty.....I just got satelite TV here, 'bout 3 weeks ago, I've been looking for the "white male entertainment channel", I still haven't found it, I think I've wore out the channel up and down button looking.....I guess I should just give up on that for the next, what, 100 years???
Oh and back earlier this year, one of the major networks had a great speacial on one night, late, (I think it was NBC) about how the decline of the x chromosome meant that in 200,000 years there would be no more males left on planet earth. Of course that part of the 1 hour show was all of 10 min, then they proceeded to show how men are no longer needed in our society.........for the rest of the hour.
Scary....
thanks
Jerry
Thanks Swifthawk, Jerry, and Steve, I am glad to have you as friends. Fortunately most of the people I have met on here have been very nice, it just got my goat when I got response that they did not accept single males as friends. Thomas
It's just one of those damned if you do damned if you don't things so all we can do is plug along and take what is offered us. In a way it's more depressing to run across it here where it's a virtual environment knowing I'll likely never meet anyone from this site. In a real environment I can see where single males would have more of a problem. I don't know of anything else we can do. There's times I want to throw my hands up and give up but we never do do we?
Know exactly what you mean BC. I eventually quit going to the sun club when we split up, despite the efforts of a few friends, you do just feel so out of place. I have more or less given up, years ago, and like Don said, if you message someone on here, they've probably got so many messages, they won't even read it. That's IF, they have filled out their profile enough to get me interested, and anyway, I am looking for a Environmentally friendly, Animal loving, None Materialistic, Agnostic, Vegetarian, Naturist, so I've probably got less chance of finding her, than a chocolate tea pot has, of making it past it's first tea party! But you never know, stranger things have happened, so they say
I am a single man who recently moved into a nudist resort in Florida fulltime. I suppose I am lucky the majority of resorts in this area do allow singes (men and women). However, I am always conscious when I engage in conversations in the common areas especially with couples. If I do engage in a conversation I find myself directing my comments to the husband or the couple in general. Only God knows I did not sell my house of 30 years to move into a travel trailer in a nudist resort for any kind of sexual experience. My main motivation for relocating was to spend my retirement years in a natural and free environment. As for my friends list, I believe I have over 70 friends of which I invited probably only 10. However, since so many asked me to be included in their list, I always make it a point to keep in touch with all of them, whether it be by posting photos (with comments) or sending messages sharing my life with each and every one of them. I also make it a point to respond to any of their bulletins or profile updates.
In addition, as a bisexual man, I have had advances directed to me from both men and women here as well as other similar sites I belong to. I merely say, "thank you but that is not what I am here for." I know we have the option of including or not our sexual orientation but I believe in total honesty up front. It is much easier to post it from the start than to have to explain oneself later.
Thank you.
Wow, what a dilemma. Hope to give you all a different perspective.
When Steve and I first joined this site, just as most "newbies" we
accepted lots of friend requests - couple, single male, single female.
The only real criteria we had was whether their profile info seemed to
mesh with our interests and ideals. Before we knew it we had a long
list of people, who never communicated with us, never responded to our
emails, never gave us the time of day. We found that among those that
were unresponsive, a lot were single men who only left comments on our
pics. Let me rephrase that - the pics of me, but still wouldn't respond
to emails. So they were deleted and we became wary of single men.
Then there were the married men (or men with significant others) who
were only interested in seeing more pics of me and so they were
deleted. And some were "nudists" behind their wives backs. And we
didn't feel comfortable with that. So they were deleted.
And then there were the "married" men who claimed there wives were nudists
as well, but we were never able to have any conversations with "the
other half." So we devised our own "certification" for them. Email us a
recent picture clothed or nude (whatever their preference) holding an
everyday object that we named (so that we could verify it was a recent
pic) and in return we would do the same with an object they named.
Quite a few never responded. That spoke volumes. And they were
deleted. And a few did respond. And that eased our minds. It was a fun
verification process. We now have very silly pics of us holding things
like gardening tools, pots and pans, lamps, etc.
As we realized that most of our "friend" requests were coming from single males
without any previous correspondence or exchanges, we changed our
profile to list a bunch of criteria for being our friends, but also
letting everyone know that if they didn't meet the criteria we would
still be willing to be "friends" after some form of correspondence.
And then we could tell who was actually reading our profile, getting an
overview of who we were, finding a common thread and not just looking
at pictures. Very few single men did this. Of the few that did we
accepted them as friends once we had established a friendly repoir.
Yet the majority of the "friend" invites we get are still from single
men with no prior correspondence.
Initially, we would email them back saying thank you for the friend request, we would be glad to accept you as friends after we exchange a few emails with you to see if we have common interests and include a little blurb about what we like to do, what our interests are and asking them to tell us a little about themselves. And then we'd get just another "friend" request in return. Frankly, we got tired of putting in the effort and not having it returned, so unless it's someone we've exchanged ideas and opinions with, developed a repoir with through the forum, or emails or chat (here and on IM) we just automatically deny them. Just recently, I had some really nice conversations with several different people in the chat room. One of those, a single male, sent us a "friend" request. Because I had already had one nice conversation with him, I emailed him back letting him know that we would gladly accept his request after exchanging a few more emails/chats with both of us. His response was, Oh! Sorry didn't mean to bother you. And that was that.
On the other hand, most (not all) couples and single females will email us prior to sending a "friend" request to establish the common ground that friendship is based on.
It's unfortunate that there are so many men on this site who really don't get it and totally spoil it for ALL of the nice guys. It's equally unfortunate that there are so many couples and single females who are not willing to find out who a person is and forget about gender. What can I say, guys, except a few "trigger happy" fellows leave some people very gun shy.
We have met so many nice people on this site, couples and singles and spouses who's other halves don't participate, that we are thrilled and proud to have as our friends. Quiet a few that we're already making plans to meet, quiet a few who are a little further away who we hope some day to meet (Steve (2) and Earl, if we ever get out to Chicago to meet TBares can we stop in Ohio and Indie to say hello? Thomas would you provide the music to go with the killer dinner Jerry and I are going to whip up?, Steve (1) next time I'm in Utah want to meet half way?) And a few others that we'll definitely visit when we win the lottery (Phil, we'll drive (my) Steve nuts if all we do is talk in rhyme. Tom, Steve is dying to capture the savannah on his camera). Swifty, lookn and Don, we've enjoyed your posts and are looking forward to getting to know you!
Hope this perspective helped!
Jen
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