Cookies!
I was here enjoying a cup of tea and a sitdown with some nice British biscuits (cookies for those of us in America) and just wondered how everyone handles the crumbs. Also, just what cookies do nudists favor? I like a nice shortbread myself, but I won't turn down a good sandwich cookie. Although, I don't mind alternating with some cake now and then.
Wow, never though anyone would ever ask me this!
Over the years I have created, developed and perfected, a technique to deal with this very problem. I first became aware of it many years ago, when I was first introduced to the Gingernut biscuit. This little bugger is particularly difficult to deal with, as it is very hard and crumbly. Further research as proven this method to be almost one hundred percent effective, on 99.9% of all the various biscuits and cookies, know to man.
Though the concept is very simple, extreme care does have to be religiously applied every time this technique is utilised, as failure to do so can have devastating results, and can even lead to fatalities in a small number of very rare cases. For this reason, it is highly recommended that anyone attempting to adopt this technique to solve this very annoying problem, first makes some basic safety checks on their equipment. Namely, to ensure that their Incisors are in tip top condition. The status of the Canine and Molars are less critical, as any deficiencies there, can be worked around. It is also recommended that some liquid refreshment is close at hand, just in case an emergency should arise, although the chances of this happening are rare, it is prudent to be prepared.
So, now for the technique (By the way, detailed instructions may be obtained from the author, and are available in PDF format for a very reasonable cost)
First, clasp the offending cookie (I'll use the American vernacular as most of you here, are! :) between the lips and secure firmly. Then, slowly bring the lower jaw up to bear pressure on the cookie against the top incisors. Gradually increase this pressure, until a small portion has been separated from the main body of the cookie. Now, (and this is the dangerous bit) whilst doing this, simultaneously, release the pressure on the lips slightly, and gently suck in at the same time. At this point there is a very real danger of small crumbs being sucked into the throat, and or wind pipe, with the potential to cause acute irritation, muscular spasm and choking, which in the worst instances can lead to asphyxiation and even death. To prevent this, the tong can successful be utilised to partially restrict the throat, and arrest any small crumbs, thereby retaining them in the mouth. All this, does of course happen in a split second, and with practice (if you survive :) you can, like me. adopt this technique and successfully prevent the very annoying crumbs, from making a mess all over the floor, or even worse, getting lost in your bush :(
Disclaimer: This technique is for information purposes only. The author cannot be held responsible for any damages incurred by anyone attempting to emulate this technique :)
ps. If all else fails, go here, ... Waxing :) :) :)
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