An example of generalizations causing its effects
This topic especially impacts single males, and that especially is evident in the thread "Single Males The Victims of Perversion." However my example is irrelevant to single males, so I decided to post this separately.
As background information, my wife is now in a nursing home. I indicate in my profile "It's complicated" because I live alone but am legally married. My example tells why I never could interest my wife into trying nudism (back when we were living together).
Perhaps ten years ago, my wife went with me to Sunny Rest. That she went with me was evidence that she was trying to learn why I am attracted to nudism. However my wife kept her clothes on and watched from the side of the pool. Of course, I stripped nude. While I was in the pool, some guy unfortunately told my wife about the swinging episodes that went on at Sunny Rest, at that time. Consequently my wife generalized that swinging goes on at all nudist resorts (which isn't true). That closed the door on any possibility of my wife trying nudism.
I am sure there are other cases like my example. That gives a distorted image of nudism. That image unfortunately exists among many textilers.
This topic especially impacts single males, and that especially is evident in the thread "Single Males The Victims of Perversion." However my example is irrelevant to single males, so I decided to post this separately. As background information, my wife is now in a nursing home. I indicate in my profile "It's complicated" because I live alone but am legally married. My example tells why I never could interest my wife into trying nudism (back when we were living together). Perhaps ten years ago, my wife went with me to Sunny Rest. That she went with me was evidence that she was trying to learn why I am attracted to nudism. However my wife kept her clothes on and watched from the side of the pool. Of course, I stripped nude. While I was in the pool, some guy unfortunately told my wife about the swinging episodes that went on at Sunny Rest, at that time. Consequently my wife generalized that swinging goes on at all nudist resorts (which isn't true). That closed the door on any possibility of my wife trying nudism. I am sure there are other cases like my example. That gives a distorted image of nudism. That image unfortunately exists among many textilers.
Very sorry to hear that Cat.
We're doing all we can to enlighten them.
Tom Tierney wrote:
"My first wife finally agreed to go to a nudist camp for the
first time. We went on a Tuesday. The place was nearly deserted. I was in the
pool when the only single male there approached her with a full erection and
tried to engage her in a conversation. She excused her self and joined me in
the pool. She told me what had happened. I went to the manager and complained.
We never saw that single male again. This was in New Jersey. I often wondered
how he disappeared so completely."
As a nudist resort owner, if ever someone makes you uncomfortable at a resort, TELL MANAGEMENT. At good resorts like the one above or ours, the problem will be quickly dealt with.
Unfortunately, anyone can say they are a nudist. And you don't know how they will behave until they are at a nude beach, park, or resort.
MC
https://sunnyfun.com
Clarification , apology.
My opinions and posts here are base on my experience here , in Venezuela, not in the USA
From what I have been reading lately , the nudist life in USA is somewhat different from Venezuela , maybe do to a different mentality , maybe do to the fact that there are no landed clubs here what so ever.
My only two visits for the USA where for a very short period and on textile bases so I also have very little understanding of the American ways.
That said, I do persist on my hard headed attitude toward the virtual nudists since on the web it is so easy just to clame to be a nudist.
I can post in my profile that I am the all mighty king of my home and everyone will accept that but my wife who will laugh at me and send me to do the laundry.
I also want to clarify , I am not a men who generalizes too often , specially not for discrimination purposes.( of any kind)
And I dont justify it , I am just saying that its a reality and it has been part of the human nature from the beginnings of times.
Catbird: I am not unsimpathizing to your situation, I didnt even regard it in my post but I do say that if the club where you had the incident had the same strict rules, that, most probably would not have happened!
Your wife generalized coming out of a defensive instinct which we can say its wrong, misinterpreted or whatever, still as I said before , that instinct goes back about 100.000 years.
I also think that all of the hysteria going around about the discrimination here on TN is a bit exaggerated.
Havent seen yet in my short time here any one rejected once he posted a pic , filled a profile and certified so whats the big fuss?
And again , if for any reason I have not made sense or offended anyone with my opinions , please , forgive me.
I read both articles, twice because I could not understand it all the first time around. I do see both sides of the argument. Even after reading both articles I do still feel that nudist resorts should be a little more open to the single male. Do I want to go to a nudist resort that is a majority male resort? I dont care. Do I want to be the only single male there? I dont care. I am not going to gawk at the ladies, nor to pick someone up, nor to hide in the bushes and stare. I am going to be around others who feel the same way about nudism as me. I am going to enjoy the sun on me and good conversation with whomever may be there. I am pretty laid back about most things, I tend to just go with the flow most of the time. I feel very strongly about the couples and single women allowed kind of rule. If its going to be couples only, as wrong as I may think that is, then fine only have couples. But couples and single women, now we have a group left out solely due to a few who have given the single male a bad rep. I know that writing this post is like whipping a dead horse but I just had to speak a little after reading the articles. Yes I do understand that ladies do not want to be the only female at a poolside where there are 50 men, on the other side of the argument if they are a true nudist why does it matter who is there to see them. If someone breaks the rules throw em out. If I go to a resort and act disrespectfully then I should be asked to leave and never return. Its that simple. As far as the article about a lawsuit coming from a single male one day, surely you must agree that it will happen one day. Do we all remember the hamburger chain? A lady asked for hot cofee and upon recieving it she spilled it in her lap and then sued because it was hot. A man in Memphis, Tn. was intoxicated and walking down the sidewalk. He slipped on the curb, fell, broke his ankle and then sued the city for not having a handrail on the sidewalk to hold himself up on. HE WON! How long do we think it will take for some man, down on his luck, to be refused entrance into a resort because of his gender and then sue that resort , causing a chain reaction across the world. If you think stupid lawsuits arent won every day then read your paper and watch the news. This is 2009, you can sue for anything. And, even if the suit is lost it will still cost the resort a bundle of money because some no name lawyer will take the case just to set a precident and get their name in the spotlight while doing it "pro bono". Being refused entry due to gender is a legitimate complaint. I would imagine the suit may be won by the complaintant. I am not endorsing a lawsuit, only saying that I think it could very possibly happen. I think we should all remember that as nudists we are a small group in the world. Ifresorts and clubs keep single men out because of a fear of what they "might or might not" do then are the resorts not doing what textile society does to us as nudists. Stereotyping, excluding, grouping them all in one category. When the chance comes for all nudists to stand together and fight for our right to live as we want, it sure would be a pity for the majority of us to say "well you never really let me be a part of the nudist community, you all fight this battle without our support". If 3 thousand people stand on the streets in front of congress that is impressive, but 10 thousand would be even more so. When I say the majority of us, I am saying that because of some of the posts written which mention the numbers of single women vs single men
This was in New Jersey. I often wondered how he disappeared so completely.
Concrete galoshes, perhaps?
Thanks for your excellent point, brer catbird. One thing I gather from intensive reading on several nudist forums, including TN, is that resort owners, in attempting to combat generalizations that prevail in the textile world, succumb to generalizations within the nudist community. When they seek to counteract the textiles' egregious lie that resorts are (pardon the term) hotbeds of sexual promiscuity, they overcompensate by generalizing that single males are the reason for those unfounded lies, and they zealously enforce a brutally restrictive policy against all of them, of any age.
This section from an article cited by sister Jen in another thread makes the point glaringly obvious.Then there are married couples that have lived on nudist resort property for years, the wife dies and the husband is kicked out because he is suddenly single. If he has nowhere else to go or is living on nothing but Social Security, tough! This alone is a travesty. The real shame in all of this is that when you consider the plight of a "suddenly single" widower who has no retirement nest egg or is on a fixed income with nowhere else to go is that it really has nothing to do with being single again as much as it has to do with human rights. Where is the same compassion, kindness and understanding in a time of bereavement that resorts have extended to widows for years? What are these resorts afraid of? Are they afraid he's going to turn into a sexual predator just because he is widowed? Notwithstanding, everyone knows that women are not as likely to be as promiscuous or as sexually aggressive as men. Hummm. How many bought this load of malarkey? If a male is married or shacking up he is considered the pillar of the resort community. But if he is widowed or single for any reason he then is treated like a garbage can. (He is now a sexual predator and a serious threat to women.) Resort owners with no compassion or sense of fair play with long standing members of character do not deserve the privilege of belonging to the human race. Places like North Korea or Red China are a more suitable environment for them. When resort owners will treat widowers in such a shabby manner why should it surprise you that some treat single males the same way?
Resorts Discrimination Against Single Males - A Time Bomb
That is frankly appalling. And it is generalization run totally amok. Here's another excellent article on that same topic that sister Jen brought to our attention.
Not For Women Only
Both of them should be required reading.
I totally agree, yet I dont see how can a proven nudist widower can be compared to a new member who has no references and no one knows him.
Its a totally disgusting thing to change a mans status once he lost his wife but its a defensive measure to post some guiding lines and rules about new comers.
Maybe the management in my club did get it right, they accept single men and women only after a strict interview and very few of them.
Maybe thats the way to do in the landed clubs in the USA too.
One more thing
( gosh I am mumbling today ha? )
Me , personally , I would really feel uncomfortable in a setting where the majority are women. ( not talking a small difference but 50 -60 women and 10-20 men as an example. )
I wouldnt care less though if the majority would be men, I can only assume that a women would feel uncomfortable in a setting like that too.
I agree Bman. Another thing that crossed my mind after I posted was this, if resorts continue letting in couples and single women only does that not make the ratio of women to men much higher. Could that be some of the reason for single men to be chomping at the bit to get in? If so then maybe after a trip or two the ones who are not going for the purpose of friendship and relaxation will realize that it is not an orgy party nor a dating club and they will no longer return. My own opinion is that if a club were to open its doors to everyone with no exceptions then there would be enough men present to discourage any one or two from acting a fool for fear of a forceable exit given to them by the other members. I would imagine that after a while the numbers would pretty much even themselves out. 10 times as many men as women on a free site that can be accessed from your home, yes. A resort where you must drive, pay and be face to face with other real life people, I doubt it. And if so, I doubt it would last long. Once the pervs realized it is not the sexual place they have envisioned, I would bet they will save their money and driving time and go back to the web sites and porn rooms. But again that is just my two cents worth and that is all its worth.
I joined both AANR & TNS. This action showed a form of commitment on my part as having a genuine interest in nudism.
For a variety of reasons, I'm a member of neither of those, but I *am* a member of a local non-landed club.
The admission discounts are the same where I go, so the cost was offset by discounts quickly.
Perhaps the fact that this club does screen applicants has helped some, but not that I've noticed.
The folks that know me, know that the ONLY generalization that fits is "eccentric" and I wear that one proudly !
It's also a great excuse for any and everything else.
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