Blushing newbie says HI

Hi everybody!I read a few posts, to try to get the jargon.......lol

Long first post, I am laying it all out there.

I like to be naked in my home, like how it feels to be unclothed. Am I a Naturalist?

Back story is this. I am 51 year old European male. I quit smoking after having a 27 year monkey on my back in 2007. I promptly gained 45lbs ending up with 245lbs+ on my 6'1" frame. Over the last two years I have been able to shed this, as well as 20 additional pounds. Last I checked, I am at 181lbs. This weight loss has changed me. I feel more in tune with my body, I am not fightingwith my bodylike I was before. My self confidence, energy level, and a zest for lifehas gone up. During the start of this past summer, I wanted to wear my clothes less when at home. I like how it feels to be free, not bound up in textiles. I have a semiprivate front porch, and I can sit out there enjoying the sun and breezes with no neighbor the wiser. My backyard is fenced, but not completely private. I need to add a layer of boards tothe fenceso I can't be seen through gaps. I have not been to a CO place in my life, but I want to go.

I have the normal concerns anyone who has not been naked with others in a social setting would have. The only way I will know how I will react emotionally, andphysically, is to go to a CO beach. I know I still have a bit of the nudity=sex issue in my head. If I look at porn, I get aroused. I have found some naturalist vids on YT, and find I can watch these with a neutral mind as long as nothing is flaunted. I know this will not compare to actually being there, that will put it on another level. Will I be able to not only be on the beach with the opposite sex unclothedbut also be able to "control" myself at the same time?

I am married, 20+ years. My wife does not feel the same as me. She has major health issues due to life long obesity. She does not have the self confidence to even think of going buff. She is notcompletely comfortable naked in our own home, she would rather be in textiles.I asked her what she thought of going to a CO place, dressed, and she gave it a "no way". She says she would be waytoo uncomfortable.I need to broach the subject of me going, but I have a feeling she will feel that I may be unfaithful to her if I do, that dang nudity=sex issue, and will say no. I will ask, and honor her decision. I may be a closet naturalist for now. She has put up with me being naked in the house, and she says my weight loss has made me sexier and our sexual relationship has gotten better as of late. I want to read this post to my wife when I am done, so she knows how I feel. I want her to know this is a personal freedom issue, not one of infidelity. I do not want to break my vows. I have never been tested, never put myself into a situation where I had to decline the advances of another. I know that going to a CO beach doesn't mean I am going to have hoards of girls trying to get my attention. It is a matter of mentally putting myself in that place that the situation may have visually changed, and the social norm has a couple of new rules, but everything else is the same.

Went camping at a state park last month, enjoyed my first walk. I got up just as it was getting light out one morning to walk our two Scottish terriers. I wore a zip up hoodie, shoes, and shorts out of the tent. As soon as I hit the trail, I unzipped the hoodie (chilly morning) and peeled off the shorts. The walk did not last long, but I really enjoyed thetwenty minutes I got to spend free while walking the dogs. I look back at that morning fondly.

I have a outdoor hobby I enjoy now. I fly kites. Specifically, I fly Revolution Quad Line Kites. These are sport kites meant for control, not power. They do not havethat much pull, nothing near enough to pull you off the ground like a power kite. Look up"revolution kite"on YouTube to see these kite flown individually and in team. I would love to get a team of naturist fliers together, it would be a blast, you are looking at your kite flying with your friends, not at each other standing shoulder to shoulder. I want to fly in the nude, I know it would be one of the most liberating feelings ever.

Is it customary to post a "selfie" here? I am game.........lol

Thank you for reading this awfully long post.

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