Well one of us should start a discussion.
I was thinking about what it means to "be myself". Of course I can be myself at home but most of us joined TrueNudists because we're looking for people with whom we can "be ourselves". I assume that means we're looking for people who will accept us for who we are and not try to change us. We're either looking for people who don't have agendas or expectations or we're looking for people whose expectations match our own.
For example, I would feel uncomfortable at a skateboarding rally because their expectation would be that I'm a huge skateboarding fan. I would feel more comfortable at an anachronistic fair even though I've never been more than a spectator but I am a fan of dressing up in period costumes. So to find people with whom I can be myself is to find people who have complementary expectations. We don't have to have the exact same expectations but our expectations should be in harmony.
This brings me to the question of what are my expectations of nudism and what are the expectations of others?
My expectations are focused on the word conversation. I want to talk and I want to hang out with people who like to talk. I want to strip off my clothes and sit in a sauna or a hot tub with some friends. While there I want to have casual chit chat. I'm not looking for deep philosophical discussion and I'm certainly not looking for any kind of debate. I'd rather talk about art, or history, or horses, or movies, or the stars in the sky, or what does that cloud remind you of.
I also expect a little affection, nothing heavy. But if I lay my head in your lap, don't freak out. I don't mean anything sexual by it.My expectation of the concept of "male bonding" has more to do with teamwork than it does with physical contact. Two or three buddies getting together to help each other out. Perhaps two or three buddies planning a camping trip together and sharing a tent or two or three buddies dressing up together in cosplay. Physical contact would be a fringe benefit but not the foundation of male bonding.
I find it frustrating though that so many people who call themselves nudists DO expect some form of sexuality. Even in TrueNudist, there are guys who carefully skirt the boundaries trying to say that they aren't here for sex but who are they kidding? Just a few minutes ago, I read where a TrueNudist member was saying that mutual masturbation is a natural part of male bonding. Why would he think that unless he had an expectation that guys get together to jerk off?
So let's talk a little bit about what do you expect when you get together with other members of this group.
Do you expect conversation?
Do you expect to build friendships?
Do you expect that everyone is required to be naked at all times?
Do you expect any form of sexuality to occur?
Do you expect flirting to occur?
Do you expect everyone to be drinking alcohol?
Do you expect people to be honest?
Do you expect it to be like the good ole days when men didn't have any hang ups about nudity?
Do you expect masculine behavior?
Do you expect all the men to be body builders?
Do you expect all the men to watch football?
What are your expectations?
I second the vote for getting back to the good old days when there were fewer hang ups.
But in some of the old days, there were more hang ups. I have heard of the days, probably before any of us were alive, when women got arrested for "indecent exposure" if their bathing suits exposed a portion of their legs.
Interesting that the OP mentioned the topics of conversation, things like art or horses. In my experience, it takes a while to get past discussion of being nude, even among habitual nudists who claim it is so natural. Why does something so natural need to be so self consciously discussed? If you learned the language of one of those Native tribes who normally go naked, how much of their conversation would be about being naked?
I also find it troubling that the OP seems very male centric. Nude beaches and nudist venues tend to get more men than women, largely because many women feel too vulnerable when nude. And the reason for this is in turn, as the OP mentioned, that a lot of guys try to use nudism as a cover for looking for sex. Just try putting out an ad on a roommate app, saying that you are looking for a nudist space. I did. What happened was, within a day, I got several replies, all of which asked me my gender. When I said male, I never heard back from any of them. Had one of them been gay, I might have.
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