Be My Naked Friend
Just a group to have friends who share their ideas, thoughts, and feelings with each other.
- created by hairlessdog
Is common courtesy unavailable online?
Return to DiscussionsI have a question. There are several people on here to which I have sent messages and friend requests. I do not do that with everyone. I usually only message or request friendships from those that I share something in common with, or I have seen a post they made to a thread that I really liked or something like that. I try to not just blindly friend someone, but send them a message first to introduce myself.
I have found that with several of the folks on here with which I have done this, I can see that they have been online since they received my message, yet they have not even read the message. That is quite foreign to me, because I feel excited whenever I see that red box notifying me of some activity. I am pleased that someone cared enough to message or friend me, and I want to check it out right away. Maybe I am weird, and not everyone feels that way.
I am beginning this thread, not to complain about such behavior from these TN members, but I am just trying to get an understanding: Why would people not read messages or leave a friend request sitting there for weeks after it was sent (without even declining it--it just sits there). To me a courteous response like, thank you for sending the message but I am not interested in making friends here. Or Thanks for the note, but I am really not looking to correspond with men. Or just declining a friend request. Anything of that nature would not be offensive. It would help me understand that they are truly not interested. But to leave those items just sitting there makes me wonder what is going on.
Any thoughts?
Thanks for your time!
You're just like me, bashful1. I too like seeing that red box light up. I
look forward to it and generally I will respond asap. But sometimes I
don't get on here very often and maybe that's what's happening to you.
I've seen some profiles on here that haven't been on for years and that
can be a long wait. But I find that in general most people answer within
a reasonable time frame. What I don't get are the ones that get you to
confirm friendship request and then you never get another word from
them, even after you send them several messages. All they want is that
almighty humungous friends list. But after two no responses, delete.
you can friend me to if you like.
Here is how you can tell if someone has read your sent message.
- On the blue bar at the top of the screen, click on the House icon.
- In the panel on the left, click on Messages.
- Then under Messages, click on Sent.
- Look at the list of sent messages...
As you look at each message that you have sent, those messages that have not yet been read will have a little envelope icon next to the subject--suggesting that the message is still in the envelope and not yet read. Those that have been read will not have the envelope.
Unfortunately there are certain rules ofnetiquette for online sites. I say "unfortunately" because, although some people are quick to point out that there is such a thing when you do something wrong, in all the years I've been on various online forums no one has really documented what these rules ofnetiquette are.
The rules start with whatever rules there are for the site itself. Next are commonly understood behaviors like . . . . TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS CONSIDERED SHOUTING. . . . . even when it's not what was intended. Next, and here's where it gets tricky, are rules on connecting with and interacting with other users. This is where the rules tend to vary from person to person, from site to site, and from one situation to another.
Without more information on the people you contacted and what you said in your initial communication, it's difficult to guess what reasons they may have had for not responding. And since I don't know how active you are online in general and specifically True Nudists it's also difficult to guess how your interactions were perceived by others.
I would suggest that you treat all online interactions as you would if you were in the real world. One mistake I find a lot of people make online is to send a friend request to someone they've never talked to.(Some people state in their visible profile information that people should NOT send them a friend request without communicating with them first.)
Becoming someone's online "friend" means a lot more than meeting someone at a party an exchanging phone numbers or email addresses.Online it can also mean that you're granting another person access to various parts of your online information via your profile that can't otherwise be accessed.Since becoming a person's online friend also grants you both access to profile information make sure it's an equitable online "friendship". For example, don't expect someone who has multiple pictures that can only be seen by "friends" to respond to a friend request from someone who only has a few or just one. This is of particular concern on a site like True Nudists where many people have pictures of themselves that would otherwise be considered private that may show them fully nude and may disclose their identity through facial pictures.
Lastly, make sure you read the information that another user has provided in their profile to make sure you're not overlooking information they've stated as to what type of users they're interested in having as online "friends".Likewise, make sure that your profile information conveys enough about who you are and what type of people you're interested in having. Make sure your information doesn't suggest any contradictions or set off any red flags. And keep in mind that your profile information is not just what you write about yourself, but who (and how many) users you have as online friends as well as the number and types of groups you belong to.
"You never get a second chance to make a first impression."
Your profile will give other users their first impression of you. And many may not take the time to communicate to get clarification if something doesn't seem right to them. Before you accuse others of not having "common courtesy" for not responding to you, make sure you and your profile represent you as someone they'd like to respond to.
Awesome, NewdInFl...
Thank you, so much, for taking the time to post a thorough response. I appreciate your insightful and well-presented information. Most of what you suggest I do adhere to. But I will re-evaluate my own profile.
Again, thanks!
-- Bashful1
Unfortunately there are certain rules ofnetiquette for online sites. I say "unfortunately" because, although some people are quick to point out that there is such a thing when you do something wrong, in all the years I've been on various online forums no one has really documented what these rules ofnetiquette are.The rules start with whatever rules there are for the site itself. Next are commonly understood behaviors like . . . . TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS CONSIDERED SHOUTING. . . . . even when it's not what was intended. Next, and here's where it gets tricky, are rules on connecting with and interacting with other users. This is where the rules tend to vary from person to person, from site to site, and from one situation to another.Without more information on the people you contacted and what you said in your initial communication, it's difficult to guess what reasons they may have had for not responding. And since I don't know how active you are online in general and specifically True Nudists it's also difficult to guess how your interactions were perceived by others.I would suggest that you treat all online interactions as you would if you were in the real world. One mistake I find a lot of people make online is to send a friend request to someone they've never talked to.(Some people state in their visible profile information that people should NOT send them a friend request without communicating with them first.)Becoming someone's online "friend" means a lot more than meeting someone at a party an exchanging phone numbers or email addresses.Online it can also mean that you're granting another person access to various parts of your online information via your profile that can't otherwise be accessed.Since becoming a person's online friend also grants you both access to profile information make sure it's an equitable online "friendship". For example, don't expect someone who has multiple pictures that can only be seen by "friends" to respond to a friend request from someone who only has a few or just one. This is of particular concern on a site like True Nudists where many people have pictures of themselves that would otherwise be considered private that may show them fully nude and may disclose their identity through facial pictures.Lastly, make sure you read the information that another user has provided in their profile to make sure you're not overlooking information they've stated as to what type of users they're interested in having as online "friends".Likewise, make sure that your profile information conveys enough about who you are and what type of people you're interested in having. Make sure your information doesn't suggest any contradictions or set off any red flags. And keep in mind that your profile information is not just what you write about yourself, but who (and how many) users you have as online friends as well as the number and types of groups you belong to."You never get a second chance to make a first impression."Your profile will give other users their first impression of you. And many may not take the time to communicate to get clarification if something doesn't seem right to them. Before you accuse others of not having "common courtesy" for not responding to you, make sure you and your profile represent you as someone they'd like to respond to.
Great breakdown of online protocol..I've been trying myself to include more info on my profile for that reason...I've developed a thicker skin when it comes to dealing with people online. I think while it's great to meet people from all over however it's also been frustrating dealing with guys who just like to add u to their endless collection of friends and then never communicate with u. But I don't think I can really add to what's already been said.
NewdInFl, excellent explanation
I think
there may be another possible explanation. The "requested" doesn't like
something about the "requestor" - profile, age, looks, gender, race,
whatever. It's rude not to respond to the request though.
NewdInFl, excellent explanationI think there may be another possible explanation. The "requested" doesn't like something about the "requestor" - profile, age, looks, gender, race, whatever. It's rude not to respond to the request though.
I agree there are a lot of reasons why someone may not be interesting to another person. Some of the reasons are superficial. Others could very easily be put in the person's profile to let people know who they're interested in before they send a message or friend request. I've also found there are some people who are not willing to state why they're not interested in others because they could just as easily be judged for their lackings when judging others.
Either way it still doesn't justify not responding to someone who's sent a message expecting a response or a friend request. The feedback could benefit the person initiating the interaction as well as those on the receiving end as to what may not be clear from their profiles or messages that could also be affecting their interactions with others online.