Be My Naked Friend
Just a group to have friends who share their ideas, thoughts, and feelings with each other.
- created by hairlessdog
Is common courtesy unavailable online?
Return to DiscussionsI have a question. There are several people on here to which I have sent messages and friend requests. I do not do that with everyone. I usually only message or request friendships from those that I share something in common with, or I have seen a post they made to a thread that I really liked or something like that. I try to not just blindly friend someone, but send them a message first to introduce myself.
I have found that with several of the folks on here with which I have done this, I can see that they have been online since they received my message, yet they have not even read the message. That is quite foreign to me, because I feel excited whenever I see that red box notifying me of some activity. I am pleased that someone cared enough to message or friend me, and I want to check it out right away. Maybe I am weird, and not everyone feels that way.
I am beginning this thread, not to complain about such behavior from these TN members, but I am just trying to get an understanding: Why would people not read messages or leave a friend request sitting there for weeks after it was sent (without even declining it--it just sits there). To me a courteous response like, thank you for sending the message but I am not interested in making friends here. Or Thanks for the note, but I am really not looking to correspond with men. Or just declining a friend request. Anything of that nature would not be offensive. It would help me understand that they are truly not interested. But to leave those items just sitting there makes me wonder what is going on.
Any thoughts?
Thanks for your time!
Speaking as someone who has ignored friend requests without responding, let me explain why I do that.
First, it is not a habit. I always look at the friend requests but I don't always read them. If I do read them. I don't always check the profile. But before I accept a friend request, I read it and check out the profile. I never accept a friend request without reading it and checking the persons profile.
However, because this is the internet, I get many friend request from people who are not really interested in friendship. Many people treat friending like a game where they see the number of friends as the score of the game. They have thousands of friends but when you have that many friends, are any of the friends really friends?
Then there are those people who have ulterior motives. They have something to sell or they have some scam to pull.
Therefore:
- If the friend request looks like it's from someone with a scam, I decline their friendship.
- If the friend request looks like it's from someone I want to be friends with, I friend them.
- If the friend request looks neutral or like it's from someone who seems to just be collecting friends like a game, I ignore them in order to give them a chance to prove that they were serious. If they put a little more effort into contacting me, I know it's not a game to them.
This means that I miss out on many friends but that's fine with me because it means the friends I do have are really friends.