Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
MY TAKE ON MALE BONDING
Return to Discussions I'm not sure about anyone else, but I think my take on male bonding is different and probably a little weird.I haven't ever told anyone out loud what it is because I think people would judge and question it, but i'm going to tell youguys and you guys let me know what you think.
I played started playing sports when i was 5 (swim lessons, pee wee football etc) so i'm used tothe locker room environment which as you know is where a lot of male bonding began for some of us.There the guys ( like me) that had no problem walking around all over the place butt ass naked, and therewere the guys that would shower off in the corner and get dressed real fast like they were about to exchange acounter-intelligence briefcase with a soviet spy. Never thought anything of it
As I grew up, however, I found that the friends i made were either like me or like the spy type.Some would have no problem hanging out naked with me in a hot tub or while changing clothes,the other friends i made would act like male nudity and camaraderie at the same time was very strangeand almost "gay" ( which of course makes me question how concrete they're sexual orientation was if that is therefirst thought). It wasn't until a few years ago that I made a very interesting connection. The same friends that wereall uptight about nudity were the same ones that ended betraying me or backstabbing me in some form or another.One of the guys got w/ this girl I was seeing, another uptight friend stole a couple hundred from my wallet whilei was sleep in my own house, etc etc.
Conversely - I am still in contact with the friends that had no problem getting naked with me and showing off andacting as crazy as i did. Those are the guys that we still talk and have inside jokes, still talk about make fun of each otherfor no reason, and make rude & complete overt sexual comments and spontaneous inappropriate groping of each other's body parts.We never labelled it... but i can tell you .. it was those guys that i could talk to about *anything*. We knew each other's secrets,we knew everything about it each other because from the get go they were able to let go, and it all started withmale bonding and nudity. We don't bother to label it ( other than male bonding ) One ex friend commentedthat we were probably repressed homosexuals ( which we never really understood because if this is what being gay was likei.e. hang out with each other and sleep with girls on the side - then sign us up!! ) Either way he never really got it,and doubt he ever will (ps that was the friend that stole the cash and the slutty girl)
Ok so the part thats weird: now i won't become friends with anyone or trust someone unless I've seen them nakedor hung out with them naked. I think as a rugby player and ex football player i have my superstitions and that is now one of them.Im not trying to check out their dongs. But i think it says something about the person themselves. But thats just me.
Really Male bonding is a code word for most of us that know what it really means is true brotherhood. Watching sportswhile dangling free, while getting drunk off of some ice cold beer, making fun of the refs and wondering what Kristen Bell orHayden Panettiere looks like naked, just guy stuff no censorship not even clothes. Thats what I'm talking bout.
Saltimbanque you have expressed it simply and concisely. Bonding requires an openness and trust. You cannot be more open than when nude. Yet, I know a few nudists who I feel Icannot trust on this site, as what the say to me and what is said by them elsewhere on this site, conflict. So how does one trust them?But, that said, male bonding is vitally necessary for one's self esteem.
@wolvrine on o.p. - all my best homie in life be male like chillin nude with other male - n most be in sport with me since ize little kid. for those ain't know - I grow up in naked house with pop unky n big bro n prefer being naked if just male around. just start living dorm life n my roomie hate wearing clothes much as me n we find that out first day we both razed up naked all our life. ain't no homie done nothing too bad to me just serious clowning but I done that to them too. I ain't thinking boy who body shy gonna do me dirt - ain't been my experience but I respect yours. Peace n All respect yo
The freedom of being naked with others, is amazing. The trust, the compassion, the openness, no shame, ability to connect on a simpler level, nothing to hide, are the things that I think of when I think of being naked with friends. My bf and I are always naked at home, but he is anxious when I am naked with others. I can deal with that. When I was naked with others, it was cooking, cleaning, a glass or 3, sometimes a shower, someone to wash your back. Sometimes it was a massage, and an erection lol. Sometimes we released the stress mutually, but it was more a male bonding thing than a sexual thing. My closest friends were nudists, it's when they put their clothes on that the problems started lol. All to say that male bonding is so much easier without clothes. No judgement.