Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
Men showing affection
Return to DiscussionsI've long observed that when two women see each other, or upon parting, do so with a hug and even a kiss, on the cheek and often on the lips. (My wife is one of those types of people.)
But when two guys do it, well it makes people uncomfortable. Even a clothed, platonic hug between two guys often draws stares.
Why is that? And why does there seem to be such a stigma against it.
I wish we could get to where two guys could greet each other with affection. I'm not talking sexual necessarily, but even just good friendship.
I think nudist men are more open to that type of thing, at least in my experience. We're already nude together, which breaks down many barriers. Showing care and affection for another naked guy just seems natural in those situations.
What does everyone think? Am I off my rocker, or should we be hopeful that, at least among nudists, we men can be more open with each other.
It's all what you are used to -- we have a more puritan culture in the US -- Kind of Freudian where everything is about sex and our penis. Other cultures don't have that and even in the course of a common conversation there is a lot of touching, Not everyone will admit this but even with friends I find sexually attractive ( either you do or you don't) I am able to hug and kiss them and still be appropriate. I wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable or bring that between us. I value friendship much more than that. The other side of that is that if you are affectionate with your friends sometimes they may consider that sexual interest because we don't have a context for male to male affection ( or friendly male to female affection) it can be misunderstood,
So I think the answer is to create that context. Instead of being afraid of acting in a way you find natural and withholding, be natural - hug and kiss your friends - if they feel uncomfortable - and they act it-- ask them straight up am I making you uncomfortable? If they say yes - reply I didn't mean anything by it except that I was happy to see you. Be respectful - don't try to convert anyone - be yourself.
There are straight men in my life that we say "I love you" and not vailed in some boyish pretense -- His wife as well -- which you would understand if you knew her -- awesome lady!
So not only are we making all male to male affection sexual ---- we act like there is something wrong with sex between men -- there isn't anything wrong with it ---As long as you are respectful when you get turned down but that goes for everyone. There is far more straight men, not taking the hint that women are not interested in them than gay men making unwanted advances.
What's funny is that I remember as kids we were taken to Mom and Dad's adult friend's houses. The adults always shake hands -- but the kids were expected to hug and kiss the adults goodbye. I felt weird huging and kissing these adults that I really didn't know.