Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
MY TAKE ON MALE BONDING
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I'm not sure about anyone else, but I think my take on male bonding is different and probably a little weird.I haven't ever told anyone out loud what it is because I think people would judge and question it, but i'm going to tell youguys and you guys let me know what you think.
I played started playing sports when i was 5 (swim lessons, pee wee football etc) so i'm used tothe locker room environment which as you know is where a lot of male bonding began for some of us.There the guys ( like me) that had no problem walking around all over the place butt ass naked, and therewere the guys that would shower off in the corner and get dressed real fast like they were about to exchange acounter-intelligence briefcase with a soviet spy. Never thought anything of it
As I grew up, however, I found that the friends i made were either like me or like the spy type.Some would have no problem hanging out naked with me in a hot tub or while changing clothes,the other friends i made would act like male nudity and camaraderie at the same time was very strangeand almost "gay" ( which of course makes me question how concrete they're sexual orientation was if that is therefirst thought). It wasn't until a few years ago that I made a very interesting connection. The same friends that wereall uptight about nudity were the same ones that ended betraying me or backstabbing me in some form or another.One of the guys got w/ this girl I was seeing, another uptight friend stole a couple hundred from my wallet whilei was sleep in my own house, etc etc.
Conversely - I am still in contact with the friends that had no problem getting naked with me and showing off andacting as crazy as i did. Those are the guys that we still talk and have inside jokes, still talk about make fun of each otherfor no reason, and make rude & complete overt sexual comments and spontaneous inappropriate groping of each other's body parts.We never labelled it... but i can tell you .. it was those guys that i could talk to about *anything*. We knew each other's secrets,we knew everything about it each other because from the get go they were able to let go, and it all started withmale bonding and nudity. We don't bother to label it ( other than male bonding ) One ex friend commentedthat we were probably repressed homosexuals ( which we never really understood because if this is what being gay was likei.e. hang out with each other and sleep with girls on the side - then sign us up!! ) Either way he never really got it,and doubt he ever will (ps that was the friend that stole the cash and the slutty girl)
Ok so the part thats weird: now i won't become friends with anyone or trust someone unless I've seen them nakedor hung out with them naked. I think as a rugby player and ex football player i have my superstitions and that is now one of them.Im not trying to check out their dongs. But i think it says something about the person themselves. But thats just me.
Really Male bonding is a code word for most of us that know what it really means is true brotherhood. Watching sportswhile dangling free, while getting drunk off of some ice cold beer, making fun of the refs and wondering what Kristen Bell orHayden Panettiere looks like naked, just guy stuff no censorship not even clothes. Thats what I'm talking bout.
I'm not sure about anyone else, but I think my take on male bonding is different and probably a little weird.I haven't ever told anyone out loud what it is because I think people would judge and question it, but i'm going to tell youguys and you guys let me know what you think.I played started playing sports when i was 5 (swim lessons, pee wee football etc) so i'm used tothe locker room environment which as you know is where a lot of male bonding began for some of us.There the guys ( like me) that had no problem walking around all over the place butt ass naked, and therewere the guys that would shower off in the corner and get dressed real fast like they were about to exchange acounter-intelligence briefcase with a soviet spy. Never thought anything of it As I grew up, however, I found that the friends i made were either like me or like the spy type.Some would have no problem hanging out naked with me in a hot tub or while changing clothes,the other friends i made would act like male nudity and camaraderie at the same time was very strangeand almost "gay" ( which of course makes me question how concrete they're sexual orientation was if that is therefirst thought). It wasn't until a few years ago that I made a very interesting connection. The same friends that wereall uptight about nudity were the same ones that ended betraying me or backstabbing me in some form or another.One of the guys got w/ this girl I was seeing, another uptight friend stole a couple hundred from my wallet whilei was sleep in my own house, etc etc. Conversely - I am still in contact with the friends that had no problem getting naked with me and showing off andacting as crazy as i did. Those are the guys that we still talk and have inside jokes, still talk about make fun of each otherfor no reason, and make rude & complete overt sexual comments and spontaneous inappropriate groping of each other's body parts.We never labelled it... but i can tell you .. it was those guys that i could talk to about *anything*. We knew each other's secrets,we knew everything about it each other because from the get go they were able to let go, and it all started withmale bonding and nudity. We don't bother to label it ( other than male bonding ) One ex friend commentedthat we were probably repressed homosexuals ( which we never really understood because if this is what being gay was likei.e. hang out with each other and sleep with girls on the side - then sign us up!! ) Either way he never really got it,and doubt he ever will (ps that was the friend that stole the cash and the slutty girl) Ok so the part thats weird: now i won't become friends with anyone or trust someone unless I've seen them nakedor hung out with them naked. I think as a rugby player and ex football player i have my superstitions and that is now one of them.Im not trying to check out their dongs. But i think it says something about the person themselves. But thats just me. Really Male bonding is a code word for most of us that know what it really means is true brotherhood. Watching sportswhile dangling free, while getting drunk off of some ice cold beer, making fun of the refs and wondering what Kristen Bell orHayden Panettiere looks like naked, just guy stuff no censorship not even clothes. Thats what I'm talking bout.
Interesting and enlightening point of view. Thanks for sharing it.
The Wolverine, your take on male bonding is not weird but a very personal one. It must have been great being in sports at such a young age. Sports are great for almost any male. The great exercise for the body and the thrill of the sport. We males get together as a team we do bond together as one. If we do not then there are problems like you wrote about on a very personal level. The team grow closer together. In the locker room we tend to joke and goof off after a while together. While on the field sometimes and off like when a good team hits the open showers after a win. I think it is just good male bonding. The same goes for a group of men in the military. It may seem weird to some who have never been part of a group but once part of the group it just seems so natural. Personal story. My step son did not like anyone ever putting their arm over his shoulder as to stand side by side. After going into the army there I see him with pictures of him with a arm over his shoulder by a fellow soldier. He is a hard head but I think he is learning that it is great not gay to have another man put his arm over your shoulder to pose for a picture especially when he might be the one that saves your life. But in sport he might be the one that makes the winning play. These are the things that should bring all men together.
I agree with BillyBare on what TheWOlverine shared. I totally get it, and after being burned by a few "friends", I'm to the point that unless a guy is comfortable and open enough to get naked with me and be relaxed about it, I doubt there's much of a chance for a real friendship. I think it speaks to his self confidence, but also his willingness to be open, truthful, ability to shareand his willingness to build a friendship. Well said, Wolverine!! Now the challenge is to find one or two out of the millions that fits that bill!! Stay naked, dudes!
I have a new friend who I have gotten to know through my business dealings with him. We text daily and meet fir lunch a couple of times per week. He is aware that I am comfortable without clothes but is not aware of the extent if my nudist lifestyle. He admitted that at times he works nude at home. But he also made faces about the nude beach like it is somewhat disgusting to him. I don't want to spoil the friendship but will have to come clean with him eventually to be a genuine friend. If he can't accept it, then he is not the friend I thought he was from the start. There is a chance that we could hit his hot tub together and if so he will realize there are no tan lines.Time will tell.Ed
Lack of tan lines has been the secret that exposes many nudists. Strangely many textiles don't know what to say at first. Hopefully your friend will ask questions instead of getting all weird about it. I assume you plan to go naked in the hot tub if invited.
its funny.. but I think its a fine line that most people just don't get or understand.the ability to be naked with a bro and bond and hang out - society would hurry upand judge that. But I have met a few people out there that tune out all that judgemental noise and just go with what feels good. i'm straight but if something did happen between bros I wouldnt judge that either.. it would just be all apart of our shared bonding experiences.One of my favorite things I saw on twitter the other day was : If don't have a best friend unless you have a buddy who you share a secret with that no body else knows aboutand you don't talk about it unless your drunk out in the wilderness.
Hey, I do bond with every guy with common sense. Some do like me others don't, SO WHAT? My partner is disabled, ( Amputee left leg above knee ) we have bonded, when he was in this situation and we have bonded some years back. we're still bonding with any guys, who want to, why not? we are all equal and any physical disability shouldn't be a hindrance to bonding and I think, I shouldn't be blamed for it, but rather be proud of being able to make no difference of situations, because I do have love and compassion for everyone in their situations and needs.