Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
MY TAKE ON MALE BONDING
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I'm not sure about anyone else, but I think my take on male bonding is different and probably a little weird.I haven't ever told anyone out loud what it is because I think people would judge and question it, but i'm going to tell youguys and you guys let me know what you think.
I played started playing sports when i was 5 (swim lessons, pee wee football etc) so i'm used tothe locker room environment which as you know is where a lot of male bonding began for some of us.There the guys ( like me) that had no problem walking around all over the place butt ass naked, and therewere the guys that would shower off in the corner and get dressed real fast like they were about to exchange acounter-intelligence briefcase with a soviet spy. Never thought anything of it
As I grew up, however, I found that the friends i made were either like me or like the spy type.Some would have no problem hanging out naked with me in a hot tub or while changing clothes,the other friends i made would act like male nudity and camaraderie at the same time was very strangeand almost "gay" ( which of course makes me question how concrete they're sexual orientation was if that is therefirst thought). It wasn't until a few years ago that I made a very interesting connection. The same friends that wereall uptight about nudity were the same ones that ended betraying me or backstabbing me in some form or another.One of the guys got w/ this girl I was seeing, another uptight friend stole a couple hundred from my wallet whilei was sleep in my own house, etc etc.
Conversely - I am still in contact with the friends that had no problem getting naked with me and showing off andacting as crazy as i did. Those are the guys that we still talk and have inside jokes, still talk about make fun of each otherfor no reason, and make rude & complete overt sexual comments and spontaneous inappropriate groping of each other's body parts.We never labelled it... but i can tell you .. it was those guys that i could talk to about *anything*. We knew each other's secrets,we knew everything about it each other because from the get go they were able to let go, and it all started withmale bonding and nudity. We don't bother to label it ( other than male bonding ) One ex friend commentedthat we were probably repressed homosexuals ( which we never really understood because if this is what being gay was likei.e. hang out with each other and sleep with girls on the side - then sign us up!! ) Either way he never really got it,and doubt he ever will (ps that was the friend that stole the cash and the slutty girl)
Ok so the part thats weird: now i won't become friends with anyone or trust someone unless I've seen them nakedor hung out with them naked. I think as a rugby player and ex football player i have my superstitions and that is now one of them.Im not trying to check out their dongs. But i think it says something about the person themselves. But thats just me.
Really Male bonding is a code word for most of us that know what it really means is true brotherhood. Watching sportswhile dangling free, while getting drunk off of some ice cold beer, making fun of the refs and wondering what Kristen Bell orHayden Panettiere looks like naked, just guy stuff no censorship not even clothes. Thats what I'm talking bout.
A very good take on male bonding, man! You rock. That's also an astonishing connection between naked friends and the paranoid frenemies. In a way, it makes perfect sense---those who weren't afraid to show you who they really are are the trustworthy ones, while the ones that hid their bodies obviously hid more than that from you. Your concept of male bonding is basically exactly in line with my own local group in SoCal, Guy Camaraderie. We are all about freedom from oppressive societal norms designed to keep us down, or more specifically, horribly outdated, self-deprecating, and closed-minded social expectations that cause us, as men, to be fearful and hesitant of being ourselves or expressing any kind of compassion or connection around others---especially other guys. Because it is generally expected of us to become emotionally and physically suppressed, we therefore tend to become the stereotypical male drone: secretly hurting and outwardly aggressive and/or distant. This is what is and was considered "being a man," and it desperately needs to stop! Moving away from that negative way of life, rife with a harmful, warped version of masculinity, and instead living life to the fullest, enjoying good company, and having fun without burden and judgment are what qualify as the core values of GC.
To give you a better idea of what we're about, we encourage: respect, conversation, spiritual connection, individuality, loosening up, playfulness, laughter, liveliness, casual drinking, swimming, camping, bonfires, friendly rough-housing and wrestling, sports, games, and most of all, not being afraid to experience genuine male bonding and brotherhood. Touching, holding, and massaging one other without fear of judgment or assumptions made upon sexual orientation is definitely encouraged. All of these things are 100% more fun and fulfilling nude! We discourage: bad attitude and/or hygiene, grabbing someone's junk or the like without courteously asking if it's OK first, anything contrary to what we encourage, and clothes ;]
Link to: Guy Camaraderie Group on True Nudists
I agree with the other replies... this is a great assessment from personal experience. I've been enjoying nudity - at home - since I married 23 years ago. We didn't raise our kids in a nudist environment; and my wife was never nude around the house. However, I enjoyed the late evening freedom from clothing, the occasional late night sit on the deck nude, and definitely sleeping nude. Now that we're empty-nesters, we've looked into and joined a local nudist resort. My wife absolutely loves it. I've gotten to know a few guys there; but, we still feel like 'newbies'. I'm anxiously awaiting to become better friends with some of the guys. It seems nudity strips away some of the layers that people hide behind in the real world. E.g., you can't hide a tattoo when you're nude, you can't wrestle with body image when you're nude in front of others, etc... Seems like some of these guys at the resort are keeping their 'safe' distance because we met as a couple with our spouses. Maybe they don't want to cross a line? Maybe they don't feel they have the freedom to step outside the 'couple' label to hang out just as guys? Whatever the barrier, I wish I could tear it down for some of these guys. I really hate that I missed out on having nude friends all my life. "Just hanging out" nude with your guy friend(s)seems so nice to me right now. Male-bonding takes so many forms and is so rewarding if guys can just get over the negative social stigmas.
I think you're onto something, Wolverine.
I had a guy take my debit card from my wallet, spend about $400, then put it back before I knew he had used it. He was very repressed about being seen naked, and he played football! but apparently this younger generation all go home to shower. We worked out at the Student Rec Center together for a while, but he never changed clothes there, let alone shower. (I learned a long long time ago that I can keep my utility bill lower by using the hot water at the gym instead of my own place.) That's the only instance I have of someone stealing from me, but it matches your observation so I thought I would share.
Great story to come out with and absolutely nothing wierd about it at all...There is a great line spoken by Richard Burton as Marc Antony in the film "Cleopatra"....when naked no one knows a general from anyone else...that sums it all up to me....Too much emphasis is placed on what you wear as to who you are....remember the old saying...never judge a book by its cover....
I used to go to a sauna that had male days where most if not all could be naked..most did( straights, gays, bis)but those that didnt were prudish and to be kept well clear of....ironically there was a private gym next door that was allowed to use our sauna facilities including the large sauna box. You could alwasy tell those from the gym, who were mostly the young guys, as they wore shorts all the time....lol....soaking wet too.....I dont know if they thought that if they were naked they would be jumped upon???? It seems the older ones and the regulars were the least bothered about nudity but the upcoming young fit guys were the prudes....
The old sauna...built in the 50s has now been closed down and new one built right next door....both run by the local council...the new one is just for exercise and health and no relaxing rooms as in the old place....Oh yes...there is now no mens days or nudity as seemsthats the way things aregoing nowup and down the UK these days.....such is progress !!!!!