I learned a lot from my wife before and after she became a nudist
Return to DiscussionsAndyDi mentioned something in the picture security thread, "Regrettably,
many female members of this site have either left or are on very
infrequently" It made me think of a my wife. I started a new thread as
not to hijack Arrielle's thread.
Before we were married we had an incident at the office where some guy came in talking to her. He was not taking no for an answer from her. Even with a couple of us men in the office he kept pressing her until then attempted to walk around the backside of her desk she was sitting at. Obviously we booted him out. Turned out he was a salesman that changed his intentions of selling something to getting something.
I talked to Luann candidly at the the time since she was my office manager. She told me she had been dogged after her whole life and was really sick of it all. She added the last place she worked a customer would flirt at her everytime he came in and the last time came up behind her in the store and put his hand in her back pants pocket. I really came away shaking my head WOW there's a lot of pressure for a woman with a set of boobs and an ass!
Fast forward to when we started visiting clubs, I found out she is an absolute magnet for swingers. In someways it was more of the same thing but now without clothes. This was one big reason for her declining to be involved as a social nudist for many years. It took some adjusting to the situations which we both did nicely I might say. I still contend there can be a lot of pressure on a female that never ever had crossed my mind before her.
If I get weary of the beggers to skype, chat and for pics the ladies have to be worn thin I would think
skype requests are constant, even when you say no in your profile
You don't have to have to be nude on here to be a nudist.I think those on here that are badgering people (mostly women but i've gotten a few too) are not real nudists but just perverts.There are plenty of other sites to go to for that if that's what you are into.
I feel embarrassed for my gender when I hear all the stories of guys and how they treat ladies. I sometimes wish I could go back 150 years in time to when men respected ladies. But then I would not be able to be nude, so everything is a trade off. I believe that the majority of men on this site are just perverts trolling for naked women because in their tiny minds nudity equals sex and any woman that gets naked must want their overweight, cigarette/beer breath, unwashed body as only a porn star can. They do not have the mental power to understand the word no and don't even think they have the brain power required to read a profile past the word female.
As a presumably attractive girl, I feel for your wife, GUYS, NO MEANS NO. If I like you I'll let you know, if I change my mind I'll let you know. And yes textiles are worse then nudist, and swingers are worse the both.
I wish us guys could get this in between our thick skulls but it seems so difficult to many and ruins the situation for most.
I read profiles before I ask for friending and often, I see ladies who go out of their way to discourage men or especially single men from invites for TN friending or chatting, etc. Sometime it is to the extent of being rude. With these several comments, I am more understanding of this, but I feel that I am cast into the same pot. The dis-service to "True Nudists" from such behavior is immense.
I feel self conscious to send a message, a friend request or chat with someone for concern over being perceived as just another dork trolling for pictures, cyber sex or some other base instinct. Even if I am interested in friending someone from a home town, or having interests or activities in common, it's like I am going to be discounted and thrown on the same heap of creeps simply because of my gender. It is understandable, but regrettable. But lo-and-behold, there are those out there who do recognize an actual "True Nudist" and I thank you for such consideration, and curse those who make it bad for the .... "True Nudist".
The harassment on this site is a shame and I have also had my share. Being a man and getting harassed in the chat room and regularly friend requested by men that I assume are only hoping to see my pics since I have never chatted with them or gotten a message from.
Therefore I can not imagine how bad it must be for females on here. If I were a girl on here I would re register my self as a man only to be able to use the site with less harassment. Personally I took off my profile pics that showed genitalia. I am sure that it has helped in decreasing interest in men asking for cam chats since I am no longer giving the pervs what they are after. But I would guess that would not work for females since men can be relentless and do not seem to need much reason to contact females. Being a man and almost about to give up on this site I understand why females rarely go to this site or to the chat room. It would take weeks to block all men that try to start a conversation with them or are asking to cam or to exchange pics. Men will never be able to understand how it is to be harassed like females. But I truly hope men can show females the respect and leave them alone. They will contact you if they are interested in your profile. Most likely not because they would think the person is sexy or hot and would like to have sex. It would only because your profile is interesting and you would seem to be a genuine nudist that might make a good friend. Given how men act on this site that will never happen.
I am here to make new friends I do not mind what sex, sexal oriantation, race or what ever people are if you are genuine and interested in getting to know me and have no ulterior motives other than being my platonic friend then please feel free to contact me. I am sure that is why most genuine nudist are here male or female. Sadly the pervs are ruining this site for us.
And because of that I have almost stopped going to the chatroom because there seem to be few genuine people willing to chat on a friendly basis on there. There is no trust in the chatroom and sadly it is for a legitimate reason. Those who seem genuine distrust those they do not know and therefore do not answer. Those who answer or start a conversation seem only interested in something else than a friendly and non sexual chat.
Therefore if you are relatively new to the site the only way to chat to a genuine people in the chatroom is on the main board. Problem is I have found it difficult to get into the topics being discussed or it is hard to follow. Plus many there seem to be really good friends and it is easy to be left out of the conversation since I am not the type of person that forces myself onto others or their discussions.
Therefore I only use this site for the discussions in the groups I follow and only message or chat with other nudist on less popular nudist sites where it seems most are genuine and do not have ulterior motives. If only this site could be cleaned up and all the fake accounts could be deleted and reports of abuse would have consequences. Then maybe females and other genuine male nudist would use it longer and more often.It is for sure that how this site is monitored and how people behave on here it is ruining the idea on how true nudist or genuine nudist are and that when we tell friends that being a nudist has nothing to do with sex and if those same friends come on here this site might give them the impression that we are lying. Sorry I might have gotten off topic. I just hope people will not get the wrong impression about nudism when they stumble on this site out of curiosity and that is especially for if a female comes on here without having had a social nudist experience in a normal and safe environment.
I find that sad and discouraging all in the same breath and for many reasons. Not only for the constant pressure but on this site for the hypocritical and nearly predatory nature I see all the time. For guys like me that pay the price of all the crumbs and bogus nudists out there it really hits home. Not all of us are like that and yet it's like fighting a losing battle. I think it's time for TN to clean house or perhaps to have a sister site Not So True Nudists. One thing that drew me to this site was the better accountability with such things as certified nudists and certain guidelines that are adhered to. I find it sad that someone (male and female) can't post pictures without getting posted comments that are nothing more than classless catcalls: "Nice boobs, Nice butt, hot, looking good" and other things that are best left unsaid. I'm no prude but then maybe I am.
As in other areas of life much of what this thread discusses comes down to lack of respect for others, in particular from males. Women generally suffer what has been described here more than men, some men here have described the hassle they get, I do too. So often it seems to be the failure to understand that 'no' means 'no', or even that certain advances are not welcome.
Turn the tables on the perpetrators and often they hate that sort of treatment. I'm not advocating aggressive behaviour in response, just pointing out that those who show little respect for others often have a very low tolerance for people who 'disrespect' them. A couple of times I've witnessed events at nude beaches where it became apparent that certain individuals were photographing nudists, particularly women. A few nudists got together and discretely approached the guilty party from different angles, pointing phones and cameras at them, it wasn't aggressive, merely turning the tables, I don't know that they even pressed the shutter buttons, but the ****s quickly left. How that works online I don't know. Maybe a site for nudists which has no other motivation other than enabling nudists to be their real selves, openly with no tolerance of the aggro discussed in this thread. We visit a mix of nudist places, public beaches and fenced clubs, we like using public nude beaches but we see more disrespect there than at closed off nudist venues.
To me its entirely understandable why females here are reluctant to share photographs, or even engage in swapping messages. You see the same reluctance at public nudist places, and a correspondingly high number of males to females at some of them. Its a sad reflection on society in general, and sites like this more specifically that in 2015 respect for others as individuals isn't shown, particular towards females, and especially from males. I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush, there are exceptions as in life elsewhere.
In response to the suggestions here that TN cleans up the site, I can't see that happening. Whilst there are pluses in regard to TN, as with this and similar intelligent discussion amongst nudists about our way of life, ultimately its a numbers driven site, removing the pests, fakes etc would severely dent the membership.
In true nudist social settings one of the best things about it is the acceptance of each other irrespective of age, size, shape, gender etc compared to textile situations is much greater. Socialising with genuine nudists is a major reason why I love being a nudist, I wish the wider world showed more acceptance and respect for others too.