I didnt expect what happened next.

The next day, I received an email from the finance internship I had applied for. The offer was in my hands.

But that night, Lyla reached out to me. She invited me to join her for a quiet night out of the campusjust the two of us. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was complicated. But there was something in the way she had looked at me that made me want to see where this could go.

Anna noticed. Of course, she did.

I cant stop you, Audrey, she said, her voice soft but edged with something I hadnt heard before. But dont forget who you are, okay? Youre more than this whatever this is.

It was clear that Anna was afraid. Afraid that I was drifting. Afraid that I was being pulled into something darker, something more dangerous.

But that night, I couldnt resist.

Lyla and I sat under the stars, talking about everythingabout nudism, about freedom, about being trapped in our own identities. It was deep. It was raw. And then, it happened.

She kissed me.

And in that kiss, I wasnt just a girl exploring her sexuality. I wasnt just a confused soul trying to figure out who I was. In that kiss, I was alive.

But as I pulled away, I knewthis wasnt the end of the journey. It was just another beginning.

(PART 7: THE CROSSROADS)
It had only been a few days since the kiss with Lyla. Since then, everything had felt off, like a storm brewing in the distance, ready to break. My mind was caught between two worldsone filled with the certainty of what I had always known, and another, more chaotic one, filled with possibilities I wasnt sure I was ready to embrace.

I kept replaying that kiss over and over in my head. It wasnt just the physical sensation of itit was the way it made me feel seen. Lyla had stripped away the layers Id carefully built, the ones that protected me from my vulnerability. In that kiss, I wasnt Audrey the finance student. I wasnt the girl still figuring out her place in the nudist world. I was just me.

But then there was Anna. Anna, who had been my rock, my guide into this new world of nudism. She had been there from the start, holding my hand, showing me the way. And now now I was drifting away from her. I could feel it, like a slow erosion of the bond we had formed.

The moment Lyla kissed me, something inside me shifted. I had always believed that love and connection could be figured out, could be structured, planned, even. But now? Now, I realized I couldnt control everything. And maybe that was the scariest part of all.

The day I saw Anna in the library, I knew I couldnt keep pretending that everything was fine. She had been acting distant, avoiding me at the nudist retreats, no longer texting me about random things like she used to. There was an invisible wall between us now.

Audrey, we need to talk, she said, cutting through the usual pleasantries. Her voice was calm but firm, the kind of tone that told me she already knew what was happening.

I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. About what?

About you and Lyla, Anna said, her eyes narrowing slightly. Youre pulling away. And I cant pretend like I dont notice.

I wasnt sure how to respond. I wasnt sure what to feel. Part of me wanted to deny it, to say I hadnt let anything happen, but the truth was, I couldnt lie to her. Not anymore.

I dont know whats happening, I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. I dont know what to do.

Anna sighed, running a hand through her hair. I thought we were figuring this out together, Audrey. But this thing with Lylaits different. Youre different. And Im scared youre losing yourself.

I shook my head. Im not losing myself, Anna. Im just Im just trying to figure out who I am.

And thats fine, she said, her voice softening. But I cant stand by and watch you get lost in someone elses world.

That hit me harder than I expected. Because deep down, I knew she was right. I had been so focused on my own discoveryon nudism, on relationships, on everythingthat I hadnt taken the time to really look at the people I cared about. Anna had been there for me from the very beginning, and I had taken that for granted.

Im sorry, I said, my voice faltering. I didnt mean to pull away. I just I dont know what I want anymore.

Anna stepped closer, placing a hand gently on mine. You dont have to have it all figured out right now. But just dont forget who you are. Dont forget the girl I know you to be.

I nodded, though I wasnt sure I knew who I was anymore. I wasnt sure how to reconcile the girl who loved the freedom of nudism with the girl who had always buried her true self beneath layers of expectation and fear.

That evening, as I walked back to my dorm, I ran into Lyla again. She was sitting on the steps of the main building, looking up at the stars, her expression unreadable.

You okay? I asked, sitting beside her without thinking.

She looked at me, her eyes searching my face for something. I was going to ask you the same thing.

I sighed, leaning back against the stone. I dont know whats going on. With Anna. With you. With me.

Lyla was silent for a long moment, her gaze still fixed on the stars. You dont need to have all the answers right now, Audrey. Its okay to be confused. Im still figuring things out too.

I let out a breath I hadnt realized I was holding. I feel like Im stuck between two versions of myself. One thats afraid of what people will think. And the other one thats just scared of living in the moment.

You dont have to choose, Lyla said quietly, turning toward me. You can be both. You can be whatever you need to be.

Her words were like a lifeline. Maybe I didnt need to have all the answers. Maybe I didnt need to choose between who I was and who I was becoming. Maybe the only thing I needed to do was be.

And in that moment, as we sat in the quiet, I realized something important: I wasnt alone. There were people around me who saw me for who I wasflaws, fears, and all. I didnt have to have everything figured out. Not yet. And that was okay.

• Flag
• Edit
• Delete
• Quote
• Reply