It only takes one slow-walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I'm a nice person.

• 4 years ago

I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right and exercise. But that was four hours ago when I was younger and full of Hope

• 4 years ago

I sent out a text to my friends saying, Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it? 12 people called me. I need smarter friends.

• 4 years ago

I sent out a text to my friends saying, Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it? 12 people called me. I need smarter friends.
Bwahahaha XD

• 4 years ago

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records, then the Librarian told me to leave before she called Security.

• 4 years ago

Anybody have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's making a whining sounds.

• 4 years ago

Anybody have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's making a whining sounds.

Maybe this will help if you can get a copy of it.

• 4 years ago

Anybody have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's making a whining sounds.

Maybe it's time for a trade-in?

• 4 years ago

Anybody have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's making a whining sounds.Maybe it's time for a trade-in?

My friend's truck started making whining sounds, after filling the rear end with gear oil, the whining sounds stopped. Perhaps you could try this with your wife to see if it helps.

• 4 years ago

If you didn't get it from the horses mouth...stop listening to the ass who told you.

• 4 years ago