Everyone appreciates your honesty.... until you're honest with them..... then you're an asshole

• 3 years ago

I'm never sure if I actually have free time or if I just keep forgetting shit.

• 3 years ago

Due to rising costs, dirty deeds are no longer done dirt cheap.

• 3 years ago

Right before l die, l am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.

• 3 years ago

If you line up all of my exes in a row.......you can see the flow chart of my mental illness.

• 3 years ago

There's no need to drive me crazy.....l'm close enough to walk.

• 3 years ago

You know you're getting old when it feels like the morning after...... But there was no night before.....

• 3 years ago

Just trying to keep cool by standing naked infront of the fridge with the door open..... but the supermarket staff did ask me to please leave the store.

• 3 years ago

When the cashier said strip down, facing me, she meant my credit card. Guess I won't be shopping there anymore.

• 3 years ago

If you judge me by my past.....don't be surprised when you become part of it.

• 3 years ago