If you see me smiling , it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty...If you see me laughing, it's because I've already done it!!!

• 7 years ago

When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirin and Keep Away From Children... just like it says on the bottle.

• 7 years ago

If you think nobody cares if you're still alive.... Try Missing a couple of payments!!!

• 7 years ago

I know the voices aren't real....but man do they come up with some great ideas.

• 7 years ago

I have mixed drinks about feeling...

• 7 years ago

I just saw 3 people jogging outside and it inspired me to get up and close the blinds.

• 7 years ago

Exercise makes you look better naked...so does Tequila....your choice..

• 7 years ago

All my life I thought air was free...until I bought a bag of chips..

• 7 years ago

Admit it....Life would be so boring without me.....

• 7 years ago

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not the one ahead of you!!!

• 7 years ago