YES, Officer, I did see the speed limit sign.............I just didn't see you.

• 8 years ago

I'm so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word I'm saying.

• 8 years ago

Home is where the dog hair sticks to everything but the dog.

• 8 years ago

Heat makes things expand, so I don't have a weight problem, I'm just hot.

• 8 years ago

I wasn't planning on going for a run today.......but those cops came out of nowhere!!!

• 8 years ago

I need to go on a medication, so I can slap stupid people and blame it on the side effects.

• 8 years ago

If you can't convince them........ confuse them.

• 8 years ago

If you can't convince them........ confuse them.

I think that is the motto of our elected officials.

:)

• 8 years ago

If you can't convince them........ confuse them.

If you can't dazzle'em with brilliance, baffle'em with bullshit.

• 8 years ago

My goal this weekend... is to move just enough... so people don't think I'm dead.

• 8 years ago