Mirrors don't lie and lucky for you they don't laugh.

• 7 years ago

Young enough to know that I can. Old enough to know that I shouldn't. Stupid enough to do it anyway.

• 7 years ago

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

• 7 years ago

Some things are better left unsaid, but I drink, so I'll probably say them anyway.

• 7 years ago

I've reached that age where my brain goes from, " you probably shouldn't say that" to "what the hell let's see what happens".

• 7 years ago

When a woman says "What?" it's not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said.

• 7 years ago

if you have friends that are as weird as you...... then you have everything.

• 7 years ago

A good friend will bail you out of jail..... A best friend will sit next to you and say, wasn't that fun!

• 7 years ago

The cops came to my house today and asked where I was between 5 and 6 ....apparently, kindergarten was not the right answer.

• 7 years ago

Another apparently wrong answer.

• 7 years ago