I love being married....it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

• 6 years ago

I'm so clever, that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what l'm saying.

• 6 years ago

It's only Wednesday, and I'm presently experiencing life at a rate of several WTF's per hour.

• 6 years ago

I don't want anyone to think l'm an Asshole.... l want them to be 100% sure about it.(l)

• 6 years ago

If showing up in a robe and a tiara with a box of wine is wrong, then maybe I don't fully comprehend how casual Fridays actually works.

• 6 years ago

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

• 6 years ago

If it is wrong, I don;t want to be right!

• 6 years ago

Masturdating (v) ~ going out to dinner and a movie alone.

• 6 years ago

24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case... coincidence?..l don't think so!

• 6 years ago

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them.. the police called indecent exposure.. but whatever

• 6 years ago