Naked Weed Whackers and Fry Cooks

They go off to Las Vegas for their honeymoon. They get settled in their room for their first night together. As he's getting ready to take off his robe, she says "Be gentle. It's my first time". He gets outraged, packs his stuff,...

I hired a blind hooker and asked for a handjob "Wow this is the biggest one l've ever handled" she said "Youre pulling my leg" I answered.

Nevermind, she's back. She just went to pee.

And wakes up in hospital. The doctor tells him during the crash his dick completely severed but luckily he's in is the world's foremost hospital for dick transplants. The doctor tells him he can have a small dick for $3000, a medium one for...

They were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird...

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.' The...

... He starts drinking, and pretty soon he yells out, "Lawyers are all a bunch of scumbags!" Another man at the other end of the bar stands up and says, "Hey pal, you'd better watch your fucking mouth." "What, are you a...

Wife: What the fuck!? I thought you were fixing the fucking sink! Husband: Well yeah, l'm watching a video on how to do it. Wife: And when does that part start? Husband: Probably after he finishes fucking her.

During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "Where should I put my pants?" "Over by mine." was not the answer I expected.

The girl seated next to me at the bar sneezed and her glass eye flew out and landed in my hand. I handed it back to her and we got chatting. After a few beers, I took her home and shagged her. Wondering if she was a bit of a slapper l asked her,...