Doctor Job
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's ass was that eye staring right back at him. "You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."
A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name. "Fred," he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred," the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?" The man replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me. "I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD."
"After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS." "Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away myDDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred."
A very prestigious cardiologist died and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, ' I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynaecologist!
A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast."You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work.By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone."What took you so long to answer?""I was in bed.""What were you doing in bed this late?""Getting a second opinion."
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