This has been said to be a true story!
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you scum bags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her
shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police
station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter, and pointed to the other end of the counter, where
four pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair, carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed! Ahhh, another Senior moment!
Grandpa and his grandson were sitting reading when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little boy asked him, "Did God make me too?" "Yes, He did," the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little boy seemed to be studying his grandpa, as well as his own reflection in the mirror, while his grandfather wondered what was running through his mind. At last he spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," he said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
Grandpa and his grandson were sitting reading when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little boy asked him, "Did God make me too?" "Yes, He did," the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little boy seemed to be studying his grandpa, as well as his own reflection in the mirror, while his grandfather wondered what was running through his mind. At last he spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," he said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
The only thing wrong with going through a second childhood is you can't blame your parents!
Most people around where I live, don't even no who their parents are.
You got me there...lol! Yes, that is correct and it is becoming more true than ever around here also! I guess the correct terminology would be that second childhood problems are totally of our own making! However, I have no date set yet thatI am going to abandon my first childhood, which I am still enjoying! Heh!, Heh!
Here's a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a Metro (subway) station in DC:
There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, 'Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq?' The old woman looked up at her and said, 'Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in Vietnam. All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country. If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it'!
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday..."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
London (SatireWire.com) A breakthrough study published last week by Viagra maker Pfizer revealed that contrary to popular belief, being old does not extinguish the passion for having sex. However, researchers warned, thinking about old people having sex does.
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