An 80 year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
"I'm an Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy,"and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Then, I have a glass of vino and all is well"
"I see," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?"
"Who said my Dad is dead?"
Amazed, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive? How old is he?"
He's 100 years old," says the old Italian. "In fact, he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk. That's why he's still alive...he's Italian and he's a golfer, too."
"Well," says the doctor, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"
"Who said my grandpa's dead? He's still a-kick'n."
Stunned, the doctor gasps, "You mean you're 80 yearsold and your grandfather's still living! That's incredible! How old is he?"
"He's 121 years old."
The doctor is getting pretty frustrated by now. "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning, too?"
"No, Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."
Close to losing it, the doctor blurts out, "Getting married!! Why would a 121 year old guy want to get married?"
"Who said he wanted to?"
'OLD' IS
WHEN Your sweetie says, 'Let's go
upstairs and make love,' and you
answer, 'Pick one; I can't do
both!'
WHEN ... Your friends
compliment you on your new alligator shoes and
you're barefoot
WHEN A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage
door
WHEN Going braless pulls all the
wrinkles out of your face.
WHEN You don't care where your
spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
WHEN You are cautioned to slow down
by the doctor instead of by the police
WHEN 'Getting a little action' means
you don't need to take any fiber
today
WHEN 'Getting lucky' means you find
your car in the parking lot.
WHEN An 'all nighter' means not
getting up to use the bathroom.
AND
WHEN You are not sure these are
jokes?
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