"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband.
"I think there's water in the carburetor."
"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is."
"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburetor."
"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"
"In the swimming pool."

• 14 years ago

My ex-wife was very, very jealous. Sometimes she would be walking down the
street and see a beautiful woman and think to herself:
"I'll bet Tom would like to sleep with her" and she would get SO ANGRY.
She would run right home and smack me, and say,
"How much more of this do you think I can take?"
Please note: I said EX-wife.

• 14 years ago

Hugh Hefner introduced a new magazine for married men;
the foldout centerspread displays the same woman month after month after month.

• 14 years ago

• 14 years ago

• 14 years ago

My ex-wife was so cold that when you spread her legs a little white light came on!

• 14 years ago

My ex-wife and I were astrologically incompatible. I'm a Leo, she was a Psycho

• 14 years ago

My ex wife and I had Religious differences. She worshiped Money, and I didn't have enough!

• 14 years ago

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given
an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.
The husband stood up and shrugged saying,"This doesn't feel so bad."
The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.
"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.
"Exactly," replied the instructor.
To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me.

• 14 years ago

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

• 14 years ago