A Minister, A Priest, and a Rabbi
A minister went to visit one of his congregants. He knocked on the door several times, but no one answered. He could see through the window that the TV was on, so he took one of his card, wrote "Revelation 3:20" on it, and stuck it in the door. (Rev 3:20 says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone will open, I will come in.")
The following Sunday a woman handed him a card with her name and the following message: "Genesis 3:10". (Genesis 3:10 says, "I heard thy voice and I was naked, so I hid myself.")
A minister, a priest, and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small like. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their freedom. As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he had covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in my congregation, it's my face they would recognize."
While we are striking at humor concerning Ministers, Priests, and Rabbi's, Let's not forgot to include the Nuns! Any one care to add to this one:
THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A YANKEE BASEBALL GAME.
THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND THEM.
BECAUSE THEIR "HABITS" WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW,
THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS,
HOPING THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA.
IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID,
"I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH .
THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE."
THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID LOUDLY,
"I WANT TO MOVE TO MONTANA .
THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE."
THE THIRD GUY YELLED,
"I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO .
THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE."
THE MOTHER SUPERIOR TURNED AROUND,
LOOKED AT THE MEN,
AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,
"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL...THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE."
A minister, a priest, and a rabbi are discussing how they tithe on the offerings they receive.
The minister says,"I draw a circle and stand in the middle, and throw the money in the air. What lands inside the circle, I give to God, what lands outside, I keep."
The priest says, "I do the same thing, except what lands inside the circle I keep, and what lands outside, I give to God."
The rabbi says, "I do the same thing, except I throw the money in the air, and what God wants he takes, and what comes back down I keep."
So a rabbi, a priest, and a minister are attending an ecumenical conference in another town, and they stop at a bar at
the end of the day. The priest pulls out a deck of cards and pretty soon
they've got a little poker game going -- only to be busted by an overzealous
policeman enforcing the town's strict anti-gambling laws. So they're hauled
before a judge the next morning, and everybody's kind of embarrassed about it, including the judge.
"Look," he says, "just tell me you weren't gambling, and I'll let you go."
"Well," says the priest, "gambling seems to me to imply some sort of intent to win money or with the idea that it would exchange hands at the end of the evening, whereas considering a hypothetical situation such as the one we were engaged in where the money is taking on more of the role of a token merely for tracking the interplay of the game and the relative ..." and so on.
"Fine," says the judge, "You can go."
The minister steps up. "It seems to me that given divine foreknowledge of all events, even if we mortals are not so gifted raises the question of whether gambling as a concept can really .." and so on also, and is similarly dismissed by the judge, just leaving the rabbi in the courtroom.
"Well?" asks the judge. "Rabbi, were you gambling?"
The rabbi looks around and shrugs his shoulders. "Gambling? With who?"
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