A tribe of cannibals...

...has captured three men. One is from Texas, one from California, and the last man is from New York City. The Chief has had enough contact with the outside world that he speaks English. Because of this, he's able to tell the three men exactly how they're to be handled.
"First," the chief says to the Texan, "We're gonna boil you up in that big pot over there!"
"Oh, heck no, padnuh..." the Texan replies. "I'd be best on a spit with some nice rich bar-b-que sauce on me. Sure, it'll take some time, but in the end, I'll be delicious!"
Nonplussed, the cannibal chief says to the Californian, "And then, we're gonne slice you up real thin and fry you in that big deep pot of oil over there."
"Dude!" the Californian blurts out. "That much oil is gonna be, like, heart-attack city for you guys! You should grill me, instead. I'll make a good low-fat high-protein meal!"
"Harumph!" the Chief says as he turns to the New Yorker. "For you, my friend, I have a special treat. I'm gonna skin you, and use the skin to make my new ceremonial canoe. It's a great honor!"
Before the cannibals can react, the New Yorker grabs up a fork and starts stabbing himself all over his chest, arms, and legs. "I got yer friggin canoe right here, and here, and here...!"

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