The Man Rules
OK, these have been around, in one form or another, for years, and whether you've seen them or not, enjoy:
The Man Rules
At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports or news,
It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
Just a couple more things to make it easy on us men. Learn to reply with a no quickly. You can always retract with I'm sorry I thought you said?
1. Does these pants make me look fat? NO
2. You weren't thinking about buying that? NO
3. Were you looking at that waitress? NO
4. I want those shoes? NO Wait I'm sorry I thought you asked if I wanted to take a snooze? You have to think really quick sometimes.
Since this thread seems to have progressed to a man-woman thing, let me tell you of my experiences early in our 41 year marriage. Some times my wife was feeling a little testy. She would bring up a subject where I felt she was wrong. Not wanting to really argue about it, I would give in completely and say she was absolutly right, and I was wrong. This I found was the wrong thing to say. What she really needed was, not to win an argument, but a way to vent her frustrations. I found that it upset her when she had no place to blow off some steam. So I learned how to be the sounding board of her emotions. I would attempt to make non-hostile remarks that were designed to feed her rage but not become an issue in themselves. I found that this was something she really needed from time to time. After she calmed down, her apologies were most gracious.As we have grown in our marriage, I have found that I need to use this tactic less and less but sometimes it still comes in handy. Gentlemen, you should try it. I believe that it will help strengthen any marriage.
OK, these have been around, in one form or another, for years, and whether you've seen them or not, enjoy:The Man Rules At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down.Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear " the rules" From the female side....Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports or news, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Cars. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.
I especially like #1....
Since this thread seems to have progressed to a man-woman thing, let me tell you of my experiences early in our 41 year marriage. Some times my wife was feeling a little testy. She would bring up a subject where I felt she was wrong. Not wanting to really argue about it, I would give in completely and say she was absolutly right, and I was wrong. This I found was the wrong thing to say. What she really needed was, not to win an argument, but a way to vent her frustrations. I found that it upset her when she had no place to blow off some steam. So I learned how to be the sounding board of her emotions. I would attempt to make non-hostile remarks that were designed to feed her rage but not become an issue in themselves. I found that this was something she really needed from time to time. After she calmed down, her apologies were most gracious.As we have grown in our marriage, I have found that I need to use this tactic less and less but sometimes it still comes in handy. Gentlemen, you should try it. I believe that it will help strengthen any marriage.
You are straight, right?
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