Strange Unfortunate Death: Pillsbury Doughboy Gone
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications
from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned
out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, California Raisins, Betty Crocker,
the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who
never knew how much he was kneaded.
Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his
later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart
cookie, wasting much of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a
little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a
positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane
Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
If you smiled, please rise to the occasion and pass it on to someone having a
crumby day and kneads a lift.