One-Liners

Do you have a drink problem ? YES... I can't afford it.

• 14 years ago

Avenge yourself. Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.

• 14 years ago

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Now thats funny! ROFLMAO

• 14 years ago

Excellent

• 14 years ago

I'm right, so you must be wrong.

• 14 years ago

When you get older, it takes longer to do nothing!

• 14 years ago

Laugh and the world laughs with you! Snore and you sleep alone!

• 14 years ago

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me!

• 14 years ago

Old is when it takes longer to rest than it does to get tired!

• 14 years ago

Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits!

• 14 years ago