Restroom Humor

But, the vulgar ones are the funny ones. This is the "Anything Goes" section.

• 13 years ago

(4)
Please flush the toilet after use, some people will eat anything with rice. This was on a toilet wall for many years before the new bar manager had it removed.

• 13 years ago

Written above a urinal in a men's room.
What are you looking up here for? The joke's in your hand!

• 13 years ago

Stand close it is smaller than you say it is.

• 13 years ago

Things to do in the bathroom stall...
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the
adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

• 13 years ago

A POEM . . .
Here I sit in stink and vapor,
some damn fool
done stole the paper.
The gang is waiting,
I mustn't linger.
Lookout a_ _hole,
here comes my finger.

• 13 years ago

Ode to a pay toilet
Here I sit brokenhearted,
Paid a quarter to shit and only farted

• 13 years ago

Ode to a pay toiletHere I sit brokenhearted,Paid a quarter to shit and only fartedI first heard this when it was only 10 cents.

• 13 years ago

Ode to a pay toiletHere I sit brokenhearted,Paid a quarter to shit and only fartedI first heard this when it was only 10 cents.Actually the first time I heard it it was a "nickel".

• 13 years ago

20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

I've never heard anything so disgusting yet so hilarios. I was still laughing my head off, three hours after reading it.
I just have to try it one day.
(13)

• 13 years ago