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Two policemen call the station on their radio.
"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here, Sarge.
A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet."
If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the following:
A miss is as good as 1.1 kilometers.
Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.06 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.
I was in the Buccaneer Lounge last night sitting at the bar waiting for a fresh scotch and water, when a
butt-ugly, big old heifer came up behind me, and slapped me on the ass.
She said, "Hey, sexy, how about giving me your number?"
I looked at her said, "Have you got a pen."
She said, "I sure do."
I said, "Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you're missing."



