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It was about 2:00 a.m. one night when a man was pulled over by the police for a minor traffic infraction. When asked where he was going at that hour, the man said he was on his way to a lecture about the evils of alcohol, smoking, and staying out late at night.
The somewhat skeptical police officer then asked who might be giving such a lecture in the wee hours of the morning.
The man replied, That would be my wife.
The officer let him go.
A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks Why in the world are you walking around like this?
The cowboy says, Well its like this Sheriff I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt So I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.So I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shortsso I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, Now go to town, cowboy.
So here I am.
One day after work I stopped off for a couple of beers with some co-workers.
When I arrived home my wife angrily started whining and complaining about me not coming straight home after work.
When she paused for a minute,
I said, "We have only been married for three months and you're starting to sound like my ex-wife."
She screamed, "I didn't know you were married before."
I replied, "I wasn't."



