RE: Random thoughts and jokes

I remember the night I met my ex while sitting in a bar looking around, I was thinking, "God, I hope it doesn't come to that."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Husband: Amazing world, only 25% of men have common sense, very short figure!
Wife: What about Rest?
Husband: Well rest are Married!

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Something I learned the hard way!'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'it is so true. Just wish I could use right away, but sadly no woman in my life to say it too.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Lead me not into temptation I can find it myself.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Today was one of those days.
When the one that got away is on your mind all day and every song reminds you of her.
That is why my favorite episode of Castle is "A Rose for Everafter"
The one with Alyssa Milano as Kyra, Ricks lost love.
Six lines told the whole story.
Rick: Do you remember the last time we danced?
Kyra: Under the clock at Grand Central Station.
Rick: You were on your way to JFK to catch a flight to London.
Kyra: You were supposed to follow me.
Rick: You said you needed space.
Kyra: I didnt mean forever.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

I dream of a better tomorrow...where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, an emerald bracelet, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry." Let him try to explain where it is
.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Not long after I met my ex she said, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me." I almost said, "Wow, you must have had a rough life."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Mywife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.

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