RE: Random thoughts and jokesWhat is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws don't overstay their welcome.
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Post #713ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesThe difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
- Johnny Carson
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Post #714ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesOne cannibal says to the other: "I can't stand my mother-in-law."
The other says: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?"
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for two years.
We haven't quarreled. I just don't like to interrupt her.
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Post #716ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesI said to the chemist, 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the mother-in-law?' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'She keeps waking up.'
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesA lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
"Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"
The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position.
The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife.
He takes the photo, and nods. "I didn't realize you had a prescription!"
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI'm writing a book about reverse psychology.
Please don't buy it
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Post #719ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesA lady says to her pal: "I have to be really careful not to get pregnant. "Her confused pal asks: "But I thought your husband just had a vasectomy?" "Exactly," she replied.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesA woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms.
The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"
The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand over there and wait to see who buys them?"
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Post #721ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesThe pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love." the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"
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