A loser is having a hard time picking up chicks, so his well-traveled friend takes him to a nightclub in Daytona where he tells him that he will score for sure.The loser enters the bar, sees his prey, and begins to barrage her with pickup lines that he acquired from his friend. The young lady continues to ignore him but finally gives in. She says, "OK,I'llspend the night with you, butI'vegot to let you know upfront that I'm on my menstrual cycle." The loser looks at her and says, "That's OK.I'llfollow you on my Moped."
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cellphones.The wife was a romantic type, and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.She decided to send her husband a romantic text message, so she wrote:"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sipIf you are crying, send me your tears". I love you."The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
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