I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.
An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah.
He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?"
Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because ass holes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually hungry; and frankly, you'll be on a constant and very exhausting duty."
The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?"
Allah replied, "Who told you they were women?"
An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah.He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?"Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because ass holes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually hungry; and frankly, you'll be on a constant and very exhausting duty."The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?"Allah replied, "Who told you they were women?"
Great joke, Tom.
A man walks into Shoppers Drug Mart with his 8-year-old son.They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, What are these, Dad?To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex." Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.;He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday. " Cool" says the boy.He notices a 6 pack and asks, Who are these for?"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO For Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.; WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied.Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February,one for March ..."
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