womens.
The following was posted by me as a comeback to another comeback for one of my jokes.
It got buried down by other posts within the same day and never got to see the light of day
Hope youll find it was worth posting again
Any way , ill stop mumbling.
First of all: you women bare the blame for us having to wear clothing, its a shame and a burden you will have to carry all your life and pass it on to generations to come.
We forgave you for that and even one of us (Jesus) paid the ultimate price for that so you have to forgive us for anything we do. EVER!
Second: The following is a virtual pick a fight , just for fun , let it be clear : I love womens.! ( not that way! , well yes that way but only my wife, the rest of you I love as a human being).
Most of you I see as angels (but then again, daemons are angels gone bad no? lol )
Now, lets get to business:
you WOMENS even god got it wrong with you at the first time! ( Lilith )
The next episode took place about 4 years ago when we just moved to venezuela:
( in her defense , it was that time of the month so rationality goes out the door for 7 days.. we know)
my wife comes to me at 08:00 pm ( !!!!!) oh my god , I forgot to buy always
could you be nice and go get me some
Me: ok , give me the name and model
She: no model , the ones I always use: always
Me: I dont know them.
She: you see, you never pay attention to me.
Me: its 08:00 pm. Store closes at 09:00. You really want to get into that now???
She: no , ok , go , call me when you get there.
08:15. I am at the store, calling her.
Me: I am here.
She: good , did you get it?
Me: nop. There are 60 kinds.
She: no , the green ones.
Me: yes , ok , better now, only 20.
She: what do you mean 20 , cant you see the difrence? I have been using them for the last year! Cant you remember?
Me: nop. But I see where this is going. So you say , green always right?
She: yes.
Me: ok , let me check and see.
Hanging up.
I stand there for about 5 minutes staring at the shelf till the lady who promotes lipstick ( also , about 60 types) feels sorry for me and comes and say: do you need help?
Me: yesssssss please!
Well. Ok.
At 09:00 pm got home
Giving her the bag.
She: no! you cant do anything right! These are for daily use! I told you bandages.
Me: nop. You said always thats always and its green.
She: yes but if I remember it at 08:00 pm and its so urgent you should know!, how cant you know???
Me: cause I dont use them. Hence I DONT KNOW , I even actually dont want to know!
She: you dont want to know????????????
Me: sorry. Yes I do.
She: and this has no wings!
Me: I agree , you said green!
She: yes but the green with wings!
Me: ah. I see.
She: I cant ask you for nothing. You dont care about me anymore.
She ( yet): whats so hard about buying always
Me ( stupid): I bought always
She (angry): so why didnt you buy the other kind.
Me ( more stupid ): cause you said always and then you said green. These are green always!
She: thats exactly like with the pickles.
Me: pickles? You didnt ask for pickles.
She: see? Thats exactly what I am talking about , you dont pay attention!
Me: what?????
She: thats exactly like when I sent you to by pickles when my mom came to dinner.
me: your mom? We are in Venezuela , she is in Israel!
She: yes! Remember? 10 years ago , when we just moved in together!
I rest my case!
Here is one for Women from Fl:
Four women were driving across the country. Each one was from a different state: "Idaho. Nebraska, Florida, and New York!
Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window!
"What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Nebraskan.
"We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!"
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska began pulling ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window.
"What are you doing that for?" asked the gal from Florida.
"We have so many of these things in Nebraska", I am just sick of looking at them!"
Inspired, the gal from Florida opened the car door and pushed the New Yorker out!
lol, nudepops. Yes we are!
To remove the html code: Copy and pastefrom the original source into notepad, then copy and paste from notepad onto the forum. Not sure why this works, but it does. One of the manyhandy little tips I picked up from Phil.
Jen
lol, nudepops. Yes we are! To remove the html code: Copy and pastefrom the original source into notepad, then copy and paste from notepad onto the forum. Not sure why this works, but it does. One of the manyhandy little tips I picked up from Phil. Jen
Thanks for reminding Jen! I failed to do so again.
I usually do in word, but had another "Senior moment" Yes, it usually cleans it up!
For you Jen..................Just funnin around!
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says:
"So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her
so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you!
WOULD YOU SAY MY WIFE HAS ME TRAINED....LOL!
This is some really funny stuff!!
There is a lot more posted elsewhere and more to come! I have been part of funny all my life as I love to joke and kid. Of course, when I was born, all my parents did was laugh also! So it has hung on for 64 yrs!
A WOMAN'S POEM
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
So I smacked thesh** out of him...
Like his mother used to do.
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