A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community.
A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench.
After a few moments, thewoman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'
He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'
'So, where were you all these years?'
'In prison,' he says.
'Why did they put you in prison?'
He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'
'Oh!' smiled the woman. 'So you're single...?'
A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front
of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell,
and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes around the house and into the backyard and
sees a handsome Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I
could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help
the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in
no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no
one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew
I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down."
"I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover
security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals."
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars", says the owner.
The guy says, "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
A horse walks into a bar, he sits down and the bartender
asks him, Why the long face?
Then a second horse walks in with jumper cables attached to its head, he sits
down, and the bartender says, I dont mind the long face, but dont you go and try to start anything!
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