Cowboy Jokes
A broke dirty Cowboy walks into a bar and says, "Gimme whiskey." The bartender
says, "I'll have to see your money first." "I'm broke, but if you give me
a bottle of whiskey, I'll get up on that stage and fart Dixie!" The bartender
had never seen someone fart any kind of song, so he agrees.
The Cowboy drinks the whole bottle of whiskey, then staggers up on stage
and the audience start applauding. Then he drops his pants and the audience
start cheering even louder. Then, he proceeds to shit all over the stage, and
everyone gets disgusted and leave.
The bartender screams, "You said you were gonna fart Dixie! Not shit all over my
stage!" And the Cowboy replies, "Hey! Even Frank Sinatra had to clear his throat before
he sang!"
At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another,
"That new bull nearly did me in today, pardner."
"Oh yeah, what happened?" asked the other cowboy.
"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a
locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!" replied the first cowboy.
"So, how'd you get away?" asked the other cowboy.
"The bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance
to make it to the fence and jump over," replied the first cowboy.
"Man, that's scary! If it'd been me, I would probably have crapped all
over the place," remarked the second cowboy.
The first cowboy replied, "I DID! What do you think that bull was slipping
in?"
A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President
Clinton
came on the TV. After a few sips he looked up at the screen and
mumbled,
"Now
there is the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." Immediately a
customer at the end of the bar got up, walked over,
decked him and left. A few minutes later,
the man was finishing his beer when Hillary Clinton appeared on the TV.
"She's a horse's ass too," he said. A customer from the other end of
the bar got up, walked over and knocked him off his stool.
"Dadgum!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be
Clinton country." "Nope," the bartender replied, "Horse country!"
Two Cowboys
from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a
hamburger.
She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said,
That little gal is havin' a bad time.
I'm agonna go over there and help."
He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big,
Texan
hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she shook her head no.
He asked, "Kin ya breathe?"
Still gasping, she again shook her head
no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her
butt.
The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger
and began to breathe on her own.
The Texan sat back down with his friend and
said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works."
Two Cowboys
from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a
hamburger.
She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said,
That little gal is havin' a bad time.
I'm agonna go over there and help."
He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big,
Texan
hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?" Gasping, she shook her head no.
He asked, "Kin ya breathe?"
Still gasping, she again shook her head
no. With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her
butt.
The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger
and began to breathe on her own.
The Texan sat back down with his friend and
said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works."
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