Todays Nude Joke

A guy tells his friend he is a card carrying nudist. The friend asks where do you carry the card? Thanks "Zeke" for sharing that one with me!

The Head Nun tells the two new Nuns that they have to paint their room without getting paint on their new clothes. The one Nun says to the other, Hey, lets take all our clothes off to paint the room. They do this and start painting the room when...

The members of a nudist resort complained when they discovered someone had put a hole in their privacy fence. The locals said they'd look into it.

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Steph Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to...

A couple went to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking. The wife asks: "What are you waiting for?" The...

An 85-year-old man had to do a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow. The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctors office and gave him the jar, which...

Ho! Ho! - O! Those pine needles are sharp! Merry Christmas Everyone.

On a fight home from a trip, I sat next to a lady with a big box of tissues on her lap. As I sat down, she sneezed and then smiled and whispered, oh my. 5 minutes later she sneezed again, then smiled and whispered, oh my. This went on every 5...

Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than...

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did in his sleep and not screaming like the passengers in his car.