RE: Random thoughts and jokesCan you daydream at night?
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Post #1103ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesIf you right a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success ?
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesIf a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.
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Post #1105ManOfWicklowUltra NudistA lie has speed, but truth has endurance. RE: Random thoughts and jokesWhen does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesDon't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesGuy goes to his doctor.
Doctor says, "I have bad news and really bad news."
The guy says, "Give me the really bad news first."
Doctor says, "You have cancer.
Guy says, "And the bad news?"
Doctor says, "You have Alzheimer's."
Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesTwo women were watching a blonde walk by. The first one said,
"I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde."
Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." "Suicide blonde?
What's that?" "Dyed by her own hand!"
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesA jockey is in the parade ring discussing race tactics with the horse's trainer.
The trainer tells the jockey that this is the worst horse he has ever seen.
It has had 23 races and finished last in every one of them.
If it doesn't win today the milkman will be using it for deliveries in the morning.
The jockey mounts up and takes the horse down to the start.
The race begins and the horse is immediately 10 lengths behind the pack!
So the jockey gives the horse a sharp thwap on the shoulder.
Nothing.
He then gives him a series of strikes on the rump.
Nothing.
He then gives him two wallops right on the hindquarters.
The horse comes to a sudden stop, turns to the jockey and says
"Give it a rest with that whip, will ya, buddy? I have to be up at four in the morning to deliver milk"!
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RE: Random thoughts and jokesI went down to a convenience store one day that said 'Open 24 Hours.'
But then, I saw a guy locking up. I said, 'The sign says you're open 24
hours.' He said, 'Yeah, but not in a row.'
- Steven Wright
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