RE:Random thoughts and jokes

If your past resolutions seem old
And youd like one thats novel and bold,
You could vow to spend time
With more wordplay and rhyme...
And to enter the contests I hold.

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

I really don't care,
If people do stare,
Here or there,
I like to be bare.

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

The Music Of Your Life.Is there a song that is significant in your life?What is it and why?Mine isRay Charles, I Cant Stop Loving You.We met at work. She was married with children, so was I.We feel instantly in love. We never really consummated our love affair.A few stolen kisses. Many long phone calls. The one that got away.

ANNIE HERE:
Reba's "You're the first time i've thought about leaving"

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

Why did the chicken cross the street?

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, And there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?


.

Fact Of The Day from
AFactADay.com

Chickens Can't Cross the Road

There is a place in the United States where chickens cant cross the road. In the town of Quitman, Georgia, it is illegal for chickens to cross the road. If caught, the chicken owners can be held liable

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

What happens if a misquito farts? ...

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

Not true in my experience - my son had a school friend with no legs who could get around very effectively without artificial legs and also competed in marathons in his wheelchair, successfully completing many including the London and Boston ones in times comparable to the leading runners.
Where do you find a person with no legs?Right where u left them

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

Challenges can present opportunities to sell Good Ideas. :-)

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

When you're down, get up, again... When you're up, get down... to work. ;-)

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

Students of the London University lately have found that women who jog without a bra has longer breasts. Now men have started running without underwear.

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RE:Random thoughts and jokes

Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by 95% - it' called Wedding cake.

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