The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.

• 13 years ago

Something I learned the hard way!'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'
Alright, I'm stealing this......

• 13 years ago

My ex said she left me because I was too childish, but I think she was just being a poopyhead.

• 13 years ago

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while, I was a suspect.

• 13 years ago

theres more then one way tonuke a kitty cat

• 13 years ago

If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

• 13 years ago

My ex yelled at me, "Did you tell my sister I was a bitch?"
I answered, "No! I don't know how she found out."

• 13 years ago

I was going to go to Coronado for a weekend. I called and made reservations at a seaside hotel. When I asked for directions I was told "It's only a stone's throw from the beach." When I asked, "But how will I recognize it?" Back came the reply, "It's the one with all the broken windows."

• 13 years ago

When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, its probably time to change the people around you.

• 13 years ago

In order to spice up our love life I suggested my ex and I be allowed to have a quickie affair.
She said, "Forget it, I've tried that - it didn't work."

• 13 years ago