October First means a lot to me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife.I'll never forget that poker game.There was no need to shoot the guy when he brought her back two days later.

• 13 years ago

When somebody wins the pot they cannot bring back a dirty used pot.

• 13 years ago

I was on a first date with a local barmaid
I asked her if she used oral contraceptives.
She said, "Oh, no! Don't tell me you can get pregnant THAT way!"

• 13 years ago

My ex and I were at a local night club one night and she kept staring at a drunk sitting at the end of the bar. I asked her if she knew him.
"Yes," she sighed, "I use to date him. We broke up about seven years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
I guess I shouldn't have said, "You wouldn't think a person could go on celebrating that long."

• 13 years ago

The first debate is over. The hot air has passed. Cooler weather is here. Coincidence?

• 13 years ago

My ex and I were going on vacation; she refused to fly on Virgin.
She said, "I don't want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?"

• 13 years ago

If there was a 'Bi-Sexual Pride' parade, would it go both ways?

• 13 years ago

• 13 years ago

My ex was telling me about a study that found women gain weight after they get married, but men gain weight after a divorce. I started to say something, but she stopped me and said, "One word and we will see if the second half of the study is correct."

• 13 years ago

I knew I had a problem when the morning after our wedding night I overheard my wife talking to her sister on the phone. She whispered, "I'm glad I didn't throw my vibrator away."

• 13 years ago