Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.

• 13 years ago

My ex told me when she says "No" she really means "Yes" but not with me.

• 13 years ago

The Space Shuttle Endeavour has traveled more than 123 million miles at speeds of more than 17,000 miles per hour. Gets hung up in L. A. traffic.

• 13 years ago

My ex never understood "even stevens", she overcooked the roast and I had sex with our neighbor; I figured we were even.

• 13 years ago

I recently added a new word to my vocabulary,
"Exhaustipated"
Just too tired to "give a shit".

• 13 years ago

Sometimes I liked to pretend I lived in London.
But my ex would freak out when I started driving on the left side.

• 13 years ago

In the car the other day, and my wife said, "You're going the wrong way, that's a no-entry" so I replied, "You didn't say that last night"

• 13 years ago

My ex said picking my nose was disgusting, - now I have to pick it myself.

• 13 years ago

Men, when in an argument with a woman:
Ask yourself, Are you right? If No. Apologize. -
If Yes. - No, your not. Apologize.

• 13 years ago

My ex never lied about her age. She just told people she was five years younger than me.
Then she lied about my age.

• 13 years ago