After all is said, plagiarize.

• 13 years ago

When in doubt, sit on toilet before farting.

• 13 years ago

I'm not a fatalist. But even if I were, what could I do about it?

• 13 years ago

• 13 years ago

My ex-wife phoned me and criticized the way I was dressed on a local TV Show.
It was COPS and I was being arrested.

• 13 years ago

A Blonde lost her memory, now she's forgotten how to act dumb.

• 13 years ago

An ex is like an inflamed appendix, they cause a lot of pain and suffering,
but after it's removed you find you didn't need it anyway!

• 13 years ago

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

• 13 years ago

I thought I was going to be a happily married man,until then my wife decided to live with me.

• 13 years ago

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harrasment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

• 13 years ago