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RE: More Short Jokes

I was told I was ten times more likely to get mugged in Los Angeles than in London?
That's probably because I don't live in London

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RE: More Short Jokes

Have you noticed how many stupid people have smart phones?
Smart phones can even make smart people stupid.Happens all the time, and they don't even realize it, until it's too late. By then, they are too stupid to notice.

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RE: More Short Jokes

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isnt wearing a seat belt!"

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RE: More Short Jokes

I had sex this week. It was really freakin' great, too: all hot and greasy.
It smelled like garlic and extra cheese...wait....wait.....
Pizza...that's what I had: pizza!

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RE: More Short Jokes

I had sex this week. It was really freakin' great, too: all hot and greasy.It smelled like garlic and extra cheese...wait....wait.....Pizza...that's what I had: pizza!You had sex with your PIZZA? That's kinda kinky.

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RE: More Short Jokes

Dad: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but he also admitted he did it. Now, son, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Son: "Because he still had the axe in his hand?"

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RE: More Short Jokes

Q: What do the England footbal team and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: They've both been screwed by David Beckham.

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RE: More Short Jokes

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower.
"Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

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RE: More Short Jokes

A farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and asked the price of their toilet paper.
The company wrote back and told him to look on page #287.
He wrote another letter back, "If I had your catalog, I wouldn't need your toilet paper."

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RE: More Short Jokes

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

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